Swan Lake (Sugar Plum Fairy II)

“Y'know,” Charlotte said. “Last winter was really nice, getting to watch whatever I wanted while you were across town, twirling and dancing.”

“Very funny.”

“And you were so graceful for like a week after!”

“Charlotte, stop.” Jason muttered.

“You know there's another ballet there right now.” Jason felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“Charlotte…”

“What? I was just gonna suggest we ask Mom and Dad if we can go.” Jason studied her face. Was it some plot of hers? Get them there and then do whatever it was she had done last time? “Eh, but I don't really know anything about this ballet.” Jason allowed himself to relax. “You had fun last time though, right?”

“Sure.” He forced a smile. Charlotte nodded. Was she buying it?

“What role did you play again?”

“I was… the Sugar Plum Fairy.” Charlotte snorted.

“That's right! Good thing you remember.” She softened somewhat. “I know it was a lot, but you did have fun, right?”

“I said yes!” She grinned.

“Oh, good. Cuz I was thinking about how nice and quiet it was around here while you were busy being a prissy ballerina and well, I miss it.”

“Charlotte.”

“And with ballet, you really gotta use it or lose it, right?” Jason turned to leave the room, but it was already too late. “Off you go!”

The next thing Jason knew, he was backstage in a broad, fluffy white tutu. He looked down over his body.

“Not again.” He still had nightmares about being the Sugar Plum Fairy, but he could feel the leotard, the tights, the shoes, everything. This was real. He ran his hands over his head. He was wearing some sort of feathery headband that seemed to refuse to budge even as he pulled at it. Well, he was not going to hang around for this!

Spying the exit sign, he ran for it, pointe shoes thumping, tutu bouncing. He could feel everything shifting with him. This was no dream. He was a ballerina again.

“Whoa!” In his haste, he nearly knocked over another ballerina. Another ballerina? No, he wasn't one, so she was the only ballerina.

“I gotta go.” He stammered. “My sister Charlotte… she… I…” his heart and mind raced. There was no way he was going to go through this again!

“It's just some Opening NIght nerves.” The ballerina he nearly knocked over said, waving her hand. “Come on. You know the best way to get rid of them is to stretch them out.” She took his arm and led him over to a barre. “Go on.”

“You've got to listen to me! I'm a boy! My name is Jason! I'm in seventh grade, I… I'm not a ballerina!”

“We've all been nervous before, Jason. Even Summer.” She nodded over to a ballerina in black, who smirked at Jason. He remembered her from last winter. “Now, come on. Stretch out all this nervousness. You are too a ballerina! I know it!”

“But”

“Stretch!” Jason sighed and relented, surprised that he seemed to know exactly how a ballerina was supposed to stretch. He felt feminine and ridiculous. He had planned to watch dumb YouTube videos in his underwear and now, thanks to Charlotte, he was about to go on stage as a ballerina again! “Doesn't that feel better?”

“A little.”

“Let's get some energy! Say it! I'm Jason, I'm a ballerina, and I'm gonna rock Swan Lake!”

“I'm Jason, I’m a ballerina, and I'm gonna rock Swan Lake.” He said, not even sounding convincing to himself.

“Stretch out those nerves!” He stretched and repeated the mantra until the lights flickered, signaling that it was nearly showtime. Try as he might to resist, Jason felt an overwhelmingly urgent something deep inside tell him it was time to dance. I'm not a ballerina though, he reminded it. I'm a seventh grade boy and they're women!

All the same, he felt himself hurry along, hands to either side as he got into position with what felt like an endless number of ballerinas. The overture began, sweet and serene. Soon enough, however, the music turned loud and bombastic. Jason thought he might actually have enjoyed watching this ballet. Dancing in it though? Especially in a girl role and girl's costume. Charlotte would pay.

As the Sugar Plum Fairy, Jason had had one dance. Now, he seemed to be in a variety of scenes. The Sugar Plum dance last December had felt like it lasted forever; now he was doing so much more dancing, completely unable to stop himself from doing everything with a feminine grace and poise as if he had trained for years. With the dazzling stage lights, he could not see the audience. All he could see was ballerinas in white tutus all around him, a constant reminder that he was dressed just like them, smiled just like them, danced just like them. No one pointed and laughed at the boy in the tutu. He was a ballerina the same as any of the others on stage. Even Charlotte watching a livestream at home had difficulty picking him out of the ensemble.

Finally, he got offstage and felt like he could relax, even as his body moved as if on autopilot to make sure he was ready for whatever was coming next. He would get revenge on Charlotte for this, he thought angrily as a young man, maybe seventeen or eighteen, strode confidently up to him. How did he not notice that Jason was a guy just like him?

“Time for our trio.” The man grinned at him. “Time for me to make you two ballerinas look good.” He looked from Jason to the other ballerina.

“You gotta help me.” Jason whispered desperately. “My name's Jason. I'm in seventh grade, I'm not supposed to be here.”

“Real funny, Jason.” He said with a grin. The music began and the three of them walked out into the stage lights.

Jason stiffened as he felt the man's hands on his waist, helping him pirouette. He had done group dances before, but it was different when everyone was in a tutu. Having a guy here reminded him that boys did not wear tutus. Boys did not focus solely on grace and beautiful fluid movements.

The man grabbed his hand and strode purposefully forward as the ballerina on either side of him minced along on the tips of their toes. How am I even doing this? Jason thought. Dad had just chided him that morning about tripping over his own feet and now, he was dancing ballet! It's not like I'm really doing any of this. He thought. The magic or the music or something was moving him around like a puppet. How could he get free? He could speak backstage, but no one really listened. He was trapped. The song ended with Jason balancing on one slippered foot, his lips puckered against the man's cheek. Charlotte would definitely pay.