Diapfake

Don't know if that title is as clever as I think it is...



“Who needs pants when you have your poofy diapie?” Beau groaned, covering his ears and wishing he had earplugs. Recess was supposed to be the best part of the whole day, but he could not escape that stupid video. Videos, really. There was that one, the diaper dance, and he didn't even want to think about what other ones might be out there. Every single video spread across the playground like wildfire. “Who needs pants when you have your poofy diapie? Who needs pants when you have your-?”

“Are you watching it over and over?” He glared at his best friend, sitting beside him in their special hideout under the jungle gym. The least he could do was look sheepish about it!

“They loop.” Aiden said. “And people keep sending them to me.”

“It doesn't even sound like me!” Beau protested.

“Looks like you though.” Beau pushed Aiden's phone away before he could see the latest AI-generated slander against his maturity.

“Does not!”

“Well, it looks more real than the first video.” The first video had just been a glorified slideshow of Beau's face crudely photoshopped on a bunch of photos of babies as the theme song to Baby Bubba played.

“I gotta diaper full of boogie!”

“That one does sound more like you.” Aiden remarked.

“Not even close!” Beau snarled. This had all started with a ridiculous rumor, though it had never been clear if the rumor was that Baby Bubba, a cartoon baby who had a million dumb catchphrases and an obsession with waving his diapered butt around, was based on Beau, was played by Beau, or just was Beau somehow in animated form. He had no clue who had started it, but based on how many videos there were now, he figured everyone was getting in on the fun.

“Well, how about-” he glared at Aiden.

“None of them look like me. It's all obviously fake AI stuff.”

“You saw the Little League one, right?” Beau frowned.

“No, but I don't-” Aiden pulled it up way too quickly.

Beau had to admit it was an actual video of him from last summer, but the audio was that same fake Beau voice. How had they even made that?

“From my crib to the dugout, I'm the cutest little slugger!”

“Is that from the show?”

“Shh” Aiden shushed him. He was clearly enjoying this more than he wanted to admit.

“Bases loaded and so's my diapie!”

“That's just gross.”

“Well, the show's kinda gross.” Aiden admitted.

“Totally not me.” Beau got to his feet.

“Are you going out there?”

“At least I can't hear the videos if I just keep moving.” Beau muttered through clenched teeth. “Are you coming?”

“Naw, I'm actually texting with-” Beau climbed out of the hideout, not really caring which girl Aiden thought he had a chance with this week.

“Baby Beaubeau!” He had hardly even made it ten steps before someone called it out. He wished he could flip them off, but the playground monitors were eagle-eyed about that sort of thing. He just stomped along, glowering at anyone who dared to come near him.

“Stink eye! Someone's poopy!” He knew better than to take the bait. At least the teachers were finally starting to confiscate phones. That helped a little bit.

“There he is. The star.” Beau rolled his eyes as he realized he needed to keep his wits about him. Too late now.

“Star?” He said, figuring that pretending to be oblivious would at least not give anyone any material.

“The real life Baby Bubba.” Blake was high on Beau's list of most likely culprits for the videos, though he doubted he was behind all of them.

“Oh, that? Isn't that kinda old now? Me and Aiden have been watching Minecraft meme videos.” Blake only scoffed.

“Dude, you were just whining about not wearing diapers this morning.” He jutted his thumb at one of his friends. “Zaren heard it.”

“Yep.” Zaren said. “I wear big boy undies like a big boy.”

“Ooh, that'd be a good video.” Blake said.

“So you are the one making them.”

“I made a few.” Blake sneered. “And I've got a really good one in mind right now.” The eagle-eyed playground monitors never seemed to be looking when you actually wanted them to. Blake, Zaren, and Ryan were able to grab Beau and drag him away to a secluded corner of the playground.

“What're we gonna do?” Ryan asked.

“Remember, dummy?” Blake punched his arm. “We're gonna do a livestream expos-ee.”

“I think it's exposay.” Zaren said.

"Whatever. We're gonna show the whole school that Beau wears diapers, just like the videos say.”

“And how are you gonna do that?” Beau asked. “Cuz I'm obviously not wearing a diaper!” He pulled against Zaren and Ryan, who each held an arm, but knew that he had no choice but to let them do whatever it was Blake had planned.

“I'm obviously not wearing a diaper!” Beau heard from Blake's phone.

“That'll be easy to edit.” Blake said. “But later. Here's the sound file I want now. Keep holding him!” With his phone in one hand, Blake reached out for Beau's pants.

“Who needs pants when you have your poofy diapie?” The fake Beau said as Blake pulled down the real Beau's pants, exposing his Minecraft boxer briefs. He smirked.

“No diaper!” He said with a laugh.

“Maybe… he took it off and stole some kid's underwear?” Zaren suggested.

“What? That's dumb.” Ryan said. “Right, Blake?”

“That's obviously his diaper.” Blake said, stunning all three boys. “And it's stinky. Look at it, all green and black!”

“That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.” Beau said.

“That's how they show dirty diapers in Baby Bubba.” Ryan said pensively.

“He knows that!” Zaren said. “He's the star.”

“Hold him again.” Blake ordered. As soon as Ryan and Zaren tightened their grip on Beau, Blake forced his pants down and off.

“Give me those!”

“Now what?” Zaren said, grinning as Blake tossed Beau's pants aside and out of reach.

“Eh, guess we'll take his underwear and make him go beg for a diaper.” Blake said with a shrug. Beau refused to stick around for that, lurching backwards so wildly, Zaren let go and Ryan only barely held on. Reversing course, Beau charged forward, but Blake dodged, stepping on his pants. Beau kept moving, figuring he'd come back for his pants.

He barrelled forward, hearing the trio race after him and knowing it was better for everyone to see him crossing the playground in his underwear than for them to catch him. He panted, putting on a final burst of speed as he neared the playground monitor.

“What on earth?” She looked up from her book, more concerned with someone interrupting her peaceful reading time than by the fact that he was missing pants. The light of recognition filled her eyes and she put her book aside. “Oh, you're… uh, Bubba!”

“Beau.”

“Right, the boy who's been getting bullied.” He wanted to correct her. It wasn't really bullying, but if she was on his side, maybe he would stay quiet. “I've seen those videos. How could they bully such a sweet boy?”

“They…” he panted, the exertion of his race hitting him all at once. “They… took my” she looked him over.

“Oh, poor little guy. Did the bigger boys take your diaper?” She grabbed his hand, her mission clear in her mind. “Well, don't you worry, I'll take you to the nurse and she'll get you cleaned up and maybe even give you a snack if you're a good boy for your diaper change.”

“What? No!” As she began to pull him along, he realized his fatal mistake. Try as they might, grown-ups were always fooled by AI.