Luke & Liam: School

“What’s the rule, Luke?” Liam pulled his tiny brother into his lap.

“But we’re at school.”

“I don’t see why that matters.” Liam replied. “I’m still big brother, you’re still my little Lukey loo, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” He mumbled.

“And are you still little, Lukey?”

“Yeah…”

“How little are you?”

“Tiny, like a baby.” He cringed to think that anyone in the crowded lunchroom was hearing this. There was so much noise, he could only hear Liam thanks to being right on his lap, but he still worried.

“That’s right. Which makes you?”

“Too little to feed myself.”

“That’s right!” Liam gave Luke a squeeze before taking hold of both his hands with just one of his own. “So, open wide and here comes your lunch!”

The next few minutes seemed to stretch into an hour with Liam feeding him every bite. He even held the carton of milk to Luke’s lips and made him drink at a slow, prolonged pace.

“That was very good, Luke! Keep it up and maybe we can even do away with sippies and bottles at home.” He smiled. He knew Luke was very aware of how much food he had on his face, smeared all around his lips and cheeks and down his chin. Liam wondered for a moment if he could send him away from lunch just like that before thinking better of it. It was so important to show himself as a fully capable big brother and caretaker to make sure no one tried to stop him from keeping Luke just how he wanted him. The best version of Luke he can be, Liam thought. “Let’s get your face clean, baby. What happens after this?” Luke sighed.

“Recess.”

“For me or you?”

“For me.” Everything had worked out perfectly where the transitory period from high school to Luke’s afternoon was the second half of recess for the very smallest kids: the kids who wore the same uniform as Luke, the kindergarteners.

Luke was still confused about the situation. A week before the start of school, the whole family had gone to the principal’s office. Luke had sat, or rather been sat, on the floor at Liam’s feet, headphones on his head so all he heard were lullabies and the others’ muffled voices instead of what Liam had told him afterwards was a boring grown-up conversation. The gist was simple: Luke attended ninth grade in the morning until lunch, at which point, he then joined kindergarten recess and stayed with that class for the rest of the day. Liam had originally told him he would be a teacher’s helper, but he had quickly learned the truth: he was a part-time kindergartener. Even his parents had not explained it beyond that it was better for him and less of a strain. Like it or not, Luke was stuck.

“Alright, Lukey. Let’s go to the bathroom to get you all cleaned up and then it’ll be time for recess.” Liam led Luke by the hand to the nearest bathroom, giving his face a wash with the coarse paper towels before they entered a stall and Liam made a show of lifting his brother up onto the toilet. “This is a big potty! Don’t fall!” He teased.

“Liam.”

“Focus on going peepee.” Liam said. “We don’t have much time before you gotta be where you gotta be.” He chuckled. “Gotta peepee before you gotta be.”

It was only after Luke had peed and had his shorts pulled back up that Liam finally removed the bib from around his neck. It was difficult to say which was better: if Luke had forgotten it was there or if he just knew it wasn’t his place to take off his bib. He smiled and gave Luke a kiss, glad the boy no longer pulled away from random acts of affection.

“All set for recess?” Luke only nodded. “Hey, we gotta wash your hands first, don’t we?” Luke again nodded silently. “Well, do you want my help or can you do it yourself?” That could not be answered with a nod.

“I’ll do it myself.” Liam knew that was coming, so he made a big show of stepping back and letting his brother walk over to the sink. He came up behind him and took his hands. “Hey!”

“Better safe than sorry, plus we gotta get you out to recess!” Luke fumed, but knew there was no point in fighting his brother.

“What’s the rule for recess?”

“Stay in the kindergarten area.” Luke intoned. Last weekend, Liam had given him a ‘treat’ by taking him to the big part of the playground, but it had all been a ruse to go down the slide with Luke securely in his arms and then force him into one of the baby swings for photos.

“That’s where all your friends are anyway.” Liam said. He said that every day, Luke thought, hating how routine this had all become.

Recess was never really that bad. Even in the first days when he had sulked, he usually got pulled into a game with ever-changing rules. Kindergarteners never took no for an answer. They were knights, they were superheroes, they were whatever the game’s leader that day wanted them to be. It was what came after recess that Luke dreaded.

“How come you’re only ever here half the day?” Petey asked as he and Luke hid from the bad guys.

“Huh? Oh, cuz…” he searched for an answer.

“My cousin used to only go to kindergarten half the day, my daddy says. He said Billy had trouble being away from home and his mommy. Is that why?”

“No!”

“Well, you’re always brought here by that guy. Is he your daddy?”

“What? He’s like twelve. He’s my brother.”

“Then why are you only here half the day? I think it is cuz you’re scared to be away from home.”

“Is not!”

“That would explain why you always take a nap and never do quiet reading time.”

“What?” Luke glared at him, scandalized. This kid was five. What did he know?

“Time to come in, kids.” The playground monitor called. Luke sighed. He was not going to take a nap today. He promised.

Despite his determination, the moment they were inside the kindergarten classroom, brightly colored despite half the room being dark and set up for naptime, Miss Melanie, one of the helpers, pulled him and a few others out of the line as the teacher, Miss Anderson, addressed the bulk of the class.

“Raise your hand if you want to take a nap today.” Luke was already sitting on a nap mat as Miss Melanie removed his shoes.

“I don’t want to nap today.”

“Shh.” She whispered. “A nap will be good after your busy morning.”

“No! I’m going to read today!” He stood up, but Miss Melanie knew what she was doing. Luke seemed to be lying down with a blanket over him before he even knew what had happened.

“Just close your eyes. You don’t want to disturb the other nappers.”

“Ninth graders don’t need naps!”

“Shh, it’s quiet time” was the only response he got.

“I’m not”

“Luke! You need to be quiet. Close your eyes and try to rest. You’re obviously overexcited.” Luke groaned. The one time she talked to him as an almost equal and it was to tell him he was taking a nap whether he liked it or not.

The one nice thing about naptime at kindergarten was it had a set time limit. When Liam made him nap on the weekends, Liam and only Liam got to decide when it was over.

“Did you have a nice nap?” Jonny asked as Luke took his place next to him at the tables they had instead of desks.

“Yeah.” Luke grunted.

“I don’t need to take naps anymore, but I think my big brother might make my middle brother Jimmy take them soon.”

“Middle brother?”

“Yeah. Jack’s the big brother, I’m the little brother, Jimmy’s the middle one!” Luke nodded and focused on Miss Anderson. “The funny thing is, Jimmy’s actually”

“Jonny, we need to be listening and not talking with our friends.” Miss Anderson said. Luke rolled his eyes as she went back to the lesson about the alphabet. “A. Apple. Aaa”
“A. Apple. Aaa.” The class recited back.

“Don’t be shy, kids! B. Book. Buh!” As the class dutifully parroted her, Luke wondered if he would survive. Didn’t they go over all this yesterday? Unfortunately, he could not get up and leave without Miss Anderson or Miss Melanie catching him. There was only one solution.

“Yes, Luke?” Miss Anderson asked, seeing his hand go up.

“I… can I please go to the bathroom?”

“Of course.” She pointed to the bathroom in the corner. Luke stood up and walked over, wondering if they would even make it to P before he finished peeing.

He hated that it was so, but the kindergarten bathroom was the only place where he was allowed to pee normally. No one hovering over his shoulder, no Liam making him sit and holding him in place. He could even wash his hands without anyone trying to ‘help’. He just wished the face looking back at him in the mirror didn’t fit in so well with the kindergarteners outside. Whose brilliant idea was it for the kindergarteners to have white polos anyway? Half the kids out there had stains on their shirts. Just last Friday, Liam had gotten ketchup on Luke's polo. He swore it was an accident, but Luke was pretty sure he relished pulling off Luke's polo and putting a spare on him right there in the lunchroom.

Luke dried his hands and turned from the mirror. There was only one obstacle between him and feeling totally mature. He opened the door to Miss Melanie’s ever-present smile.

"Did you remember to wipe and wash your hands?" Luke nodded, but he knew he had to answer. Kindergarten was weirdly strict about these little things.

“Yes, Miss Melanie.” He returned to his seat. Luke had become used to the teacher and teaching assistants being very blunt with their questions. His first day, when he had still foolishly believed he might actually be a teacher's assistant in the kindergarten, the teacher had come right out and asked Liam if he needed diapers.

"Nope. Pull-ups on long car rides, but he has no problems holding it. You love your big boy undies, don't you, bud?" It had become immediately apparent, as if that first day had not been filled with proof. Liam had somehow convinced everyone that Luke needed high school during the day, kindergarten in the afternoon. That was why he had the elementary uniform instead of the 'big kid' one. He had been downright terrified the first day that someone would comment, but everyone accepted him in his white polo and elastic banded shorts, just like they had accepted the Toy Story clogs on his feet every day since that fire drill so long ago.

Sometimes, he would daydream in World Lit class about just what he would do if someone did call out how weird his situation was. Probably use them as proof to Liam that he needed to stop this. It had gone on for too long though. Luke knew he had become a very little boy in the eyes of Liam and everyone else and all he could do was be glad he still got to go to World Lit and other high school classes.

It felt like an hour before they finally reached the end of the alphabet and moved on to their next activity: moving around the room to stations with different things to play with. This at least was better than learning the alphabet, even if one of the stations had them trace letters with a marker. Jonny was super excited, leading Luke by the hand from place to place as if he did not know how to get there on his own. He knew Jonny was just being friendly, but it still felt demeaning.

"Alright, everyone. It's time for music class. Everyone disco dance over to the music corner!" Miss Anderson moved her arm with one finger outstretched back and forth to show the kindergarteners what she meant. Luke felt a little silly, but everyone else was doing it, so why not? "What should we start with today?" Miss Anderson said. "Does everyone remember Johnny Works With One Hammer?"

"Yes!" The class said in haphazard unison.Luke really did not mind singing in a group. Enough of the kids yelled rather than sing that no one would be able to hear him.

The first few days, he had mouthed along, just to be safe, fearful that his voice would stick out in the chorus of high pitched voices. The last thing he wanted was for a ninth grade voice to come through under all the sopranos. Miss Anderson must have caught on because one day, she split the class into groups of three and had them sing Row, Row, Row Your Boat in a round. Luke got put with two boys he was pretty sure he had played peewee soccer with and had to stand there, their arms around each other's shoulders in a line as they sang the song. Luke was last, which meant he ended up singing alone at the end of their group. After that, he accepted that his voice fit the class perfectly, for better or worse.

"Alright, let's start working on songs for our winter concert, kids. Does everyone know Rudolph?" For the rest of music class, Luke wondered what she had meant about a concert. Singing in class was one thing. Singing for an audience? That sounded like too much.Since music class was at the end of the day, they usually did end up having an audience as parents arrived to take their kids home. Liam was always one of the last to arrive, so Miss Melanie had Luke sit down at his place and handed him a worksheet to practice writing letters of the alphabet. He groaned, but made a show of doing it every time she looked in his direction.

"Luke, look who's here." He looked up to see Liam standing in the doorway. Miss Anderson walked over to Luke. "Luke, is that your grown-up?"

"Yes."

"You're sure? Who is he?"

"Liam, my brother." He knew it was a safety thing, but still!

"How was school today?" Liam asked as he led Luke out of the school by the hand.

"Uh,” Luke thought for a moment. Had he told Liam about what had happened that morning at lunch? No! “Oh! In World Lit, Mister"

"Lukey loo." Liam scooped Luke up and gave him a kiss on the cheek before settling him in his arms to continue walking home. "You know what I meant." Luke sighed.

“I took a dumb nap again.”

"You know, Luke, you really should stop fighting naptime." Liam said. "You need an afternoon nap or you get cranky."

"Well, everyone else gets to choose nap or quiet time. I get there and they want my shoes off right away so I can lie down for a nap."

"I know it's just you being you, but" Liam fished a letter out of his pocket. "We understand Luke is a special case and keeping his best interests in mind, yadda, yadda, yadda, if he continues to have difficulty with the transition between his morning activities and our classroom schedule, we may recommend full time kindergarten for the next semester." Full time kindergarten? They couldn’t. He was in high school!

"But that's not fair."

"It's not your decision to make, Luke."

"I don't belong in kindergarten."

"You certainly blend in in your first day of school class photo." Liam said with a laugh. "All those kids in their polos and shorts. Which one's Lukey?"

“But Liam! I don’t belong in kindergarten.”

“We’ve discussed this, Luke. You’re too little to make decisions. Your job is to obey the decisions grown-ups make. If grown-ups say you need full time kindergarten, that’s what’ll happen.” Liam gave Luke a squeeze. “But we can work together to make sure it doesn’t.” Luke frowned.

"It's awful wearing this uniform in class!"

"Why? Everyone else wears it, right?”

“Not in the morning!”

“That's just in the morning. You fit in perfectly in the afternoon. We'll take your school clothes off as soon as we get home. How's that sound?" Luke did not answer. He knew all too well it would happen no matter what he said.


"I think Teddy missed you a whole bunch, Lukey." Liam said as he pulled the boy's shorts down. Luke nodded, staring over at the stuffed bear. Liam wondered if Teddy ever said things to Luke. "Go give Teddy a hug." The smaller boy crossed the room in just his briefs and hugged the bear. "I bet Teddy wants to hear all about kindergarten today." Luke rolled his eyes. "Do it or you won't get your comfy clothes. It'll be Lukey in his tighty whities all night long."

“Better than Doctor Seuss pajamas.” Luke muttered.

“Comfy clothes.” Liam corrected. “Go on, tell Teddy five things you loved at kindergarten today.”

Liam listened in as Luke began to detail his day to the bear. It was amazing how much more forthcoming he was to a stuffed animal than to his own brother. He would have never gotten Luke to tell him about the little kid game he played at recess, but the bear heard it all.

“Oh, and we started work on our concert.”

“A concert? That’ll be fun.” Liam said. Luke looked over to him as if he had forgotten he was there. “Anything else you did today?” Luke shook his head. “Ready for comfy clothes?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, we need to do your bath first, don’t we?” Luke’s nose wrinkled. “Yes, you have to.” Luke sighed, so Liam scooped him up.

“Tiny little nose, tiny little toes, tiny little Lukey in his tiny little clothes.” He said before setting him down on the bed. “But Lukey loo doesn’t need undies in the bath, do you?” He pulled Luke’s underwear down and tossed them over his shoulder into the waiting hamper. Liam’s clothes went into the gray hamper, Luke’s went into the one shaped like a teddy bear’s head. “Two points for Liam!” He picked up Luke once again and gave him two kisses, one on each cheek. “Off to the tub we go!” He felt a little goofy as they left the room they shared. “All kindergarteners to the bathtub, all kindergarteners to the bathtub.” He said as if over an intercom. I’m in ninth grade until lunch, Luke thought as they neared the bathroom, but he knew all too well that he had a lot more in common with the kindergarteners than anyone his age.