Andy's New Den

"Don't you look handsome?" Mom gushed as Andrew entered the living room.


"Figured I'd get out the whole uniform." Andrew said with a chuckle, straightening his already immaculate khaki shirt.


"Gonna impress the other scouts?" He shrugged, but yes, that was generally his thought. Good first impression was what his old Scoutmaster always said. "Remember, it's mostly Cub Scouts."


"I know. Still can't believe you called the den leader for me." He sighed and his mom chuckled. Even a Boy Scout was a teenager first and foremost.


"Well, it's good that he knows to expect you."


"I told him myself." Andrew murmured, but it was a minor thing. He had a den meeting to get to.


* * *


Andrew stood beside Den Leader Robbins, a practical mountain of a man who beamed with every sentence, his blindingly white teeth sticking out against his skin.


"We're thrilled to have you here." He had said, his hand consuming Andrew's as he shook Andrew's entire arm. "I've heard nothing but good things and I'm sure the Cub Scouts will love to have a new role model."


"Glad to be here." Andrew replied, pulling his hand free.


"Let's get started then!" He turned to gaze out across the classroom where Troop 93 had gathered and were noisily chattering. "Everyone, this is- Wolf Cubs, everyone includes you. Please listen. Everyone, this is-" he looked down at Andrew. "D'you prefer Andy or Andrew?"


"Andrew." Andy had been his Cub Scout name, left behind once he became a Webelos and now a Boy Scout in full.


"This is Andrew, a new Boy Scout to our area. He's gonna help out today." Andrew surveyed the room, fully aware that he was probably smaller than they expected a Boy Scout to be. There were a lot of parents here. One mom, holding a wiggling toddler in her arms, gave him a smile that he knew meant she thought he was cute. Whatever, I'm used to it. A blur of motion caught his attention. He saw one of the Cub Scouts, one of the Wolf Cubs who had been scolded, in fact, shoot his hand into the air.


"Den Leader Robbins?"


"Yes, Austin?" Maybe Andrew was imagining it, but there seemed to be some weariness in the adult's voice.


"Can we go to the bathroom?"


"Who's we?" Yes, judging from his tone, Austin was a troublemaker.


"Me and Zack and Jake. Right, Jake?" A boy with a mop of shaggy brown hair nodded.


"Alright, uh, Adam, can-"


"We want Andrew the Boy Scout to come."


"Huh?"


"After a certain incident" Den Leader Robbins stared down Austin as he snickered. "The Wolf Cubs need an adult chaperone."


"I can do it." Andrew said with a shrug.


"Don't let them get to you." Den Leader Robbins said.


"They're seven." He murmured.


"That's the spirit, champ." He smacked Andrew's back so hard, he almost coughed. "You all have five minutes. Then I'm coming to check on you."


"What if we gotta poop?" Zack asked, eliciting snorts of laughter from his cohorts.


"Five minutes." The boys rushed out of the room and Andrew followed.


Jake and Zack ran ahead, but Austin walked alongside Andrew. He looked so much more natural in his basketball shorts and Ninjago t-shirt that Andrew almost regretted wearing his full uniform.


"You're not really a Boy Scout, are you?"


"I am."


"But you're our size. I think Jake's even taller than you."


"So?"


"So, we're Wolf Cubs. We're in second grade."


"Ok." Andrew stiffened as Austin threw an arm around his shoulder, leaning in to whisper in his ear.


"You know what I think? I think you're a baby."


"What?" That was the last thing Andrew had expected him to say. Austin cackled, sensing he had caught Andrew off-guard.


"Chubby cheeks"


"Stop!" Andrew said as Austin boldly gave them a squeeze.


"And what's that smell?" Austin gave him a sniff, which made Andrew shiver. What a weirdo! "What is it?"


"I dunno. Laundry detergent? Shampoo? My deodorant?"


"It's baby powder!" Austin exclaimed.


"I can smell it from here!" Jake crowed.


"Stop it. I'm in charge. Mr. Robbins even-"


"And you're obviously wearing a diaper." Austin interjected.


"I am not!"


"Hey, Jake, Zack, look at Andy. He's waddling and toddling cuz of his diaper, right?"


"Oh, definitely!" Jake said.


"And I saw him sucking his thumb before the meeting started." Zack added. Judging by how quickly they agreed with Austin, Andrew realized that this must be a common thing with them. He shrugged it off and pushed Austin's hand off his shoulder.


"Maybe you should crawl the rest of the way to the bathroom." Andrew stopped and gave Austin a hard look.


"Stop. Do any of you really even need the bathroom?"


"We're just joking, dude." Austin said and the three of them went into the boys' room with Andrew following, certain he had put them in their place.


He shuffled into the bathroom, listening to them joke as they peed. At least they weren't talking about him anymore. As soon as he thought it, however, Austin looked at him.


"Do you know how to use a urinal, Andy?"


"The one at the end's for little babies." Zack added.


"My name's Andrew." He replied, refusing to answer their questions.


"He's not peeing." Zack observed.


"Genius." Andrew muttered.


"How d'you know? He's probably got a wet diaper." Austin grinned as he flushed his urinal.


"Think that's why he's so grumpy?"


"Babies aren't grumpy. They're fussy. Fussy baby Andy."


"It's Andrew. I'm a Boy Scout."


"You're a Baby Scout!" Austin retorted.


"I'm going to" he almost said he was going to tell. He quickly checked himself. "Report this to your den leader." They laughed.


"Uh-oh. The Baby Scout's gonna tattle!" Jake said.


"Well" Austin seemed like he had realized they had gone too far. "I suppose Den Leader Robbins would be pretty upset if we didn't change the Baby Scout's diaper."


"You're right!" Zack said. "Wasn't that why he sent baby Andy with us? So we could change his diaper?"


"What are you guys talking about? This needs to stop." Andrew said.


"We at least gotta check him." Austin said. "But we don't want his clothes to get dirty." Andrew heard the sound of the bathroom door behind him lock and he realized he was trapped on all sides.


Andrew tried to fight them off, but he was outnumbered. The five minutes had long since elapsed, but no one came to help him as his entire uniform ended up strewn all over the bathroom floor. He found a second wind as they pushed him to the floor and tugged down his boxer briefs, but it was no use. He was nude except for his socks.


"He's not wearing a diaper, Austin." Zack said as if the naked boy on the floor didn't make that obvious.


"He probably took it off to run around nakey." Jake teased. "My baby cousin does that a lot."


"I was just wearing underwear!" Andrew protested, no longer even caring how whiny he sounded, but the boys only laughed.


"We'll be sure to throw those away. You would've had an accident in them anyway." Zack said. With Austin and Jake holding Andrew down, Zack tossed them like a basketball into the garbage nearby.


"No! What am I supposed to wear then?" Austin chuckled.


"It's our duty as Wolf Cubs to get the Baby Scout in his uniform." He pulled something out of the back of his jeans: a diaper. Where had that come from? How long had it been in there? "Swiped it from my little brother's diaper bag." He smirked down at their captive. "Maybe you and him can be Baby Scouts together sometime."


"I am not a baby!"


"Maybe we should just leave him here naked." Zack said with a laugh.


"Or even just his little hat so he can cover his weiner as he tries to get back to the meeting." Austin could not decide if he liked the idea more or how worried this upstart little kid - obviously a baby - looked. "Move, Zack. Let's get him in his diaper before he pees on us."


"Ew!" Zack slid over, giving Austin enough space to kneel down and unfold the diaper. They were actually going to do it! They were actually going to put him in a diaper!


"Let me go!" Andrew yelled, moving all four limbs at once in the hopes that someone had let their guard down enough for him to slip free. "Mr. Robbins is going to come check on what's taking so long."


"He will?" Zack sounded nervous. Perfect.


"He will." Austin agreed. "And he'll see Andy the Baby Scout being fussy about his diaper change." He grinned evilly down at Andrew. "We got rid of those big boy boxers, after all."


"You can't do this!"


"Sure we can. Everyone except for Zack's got the babysitting badge." Austin said. "See? Jake's showing it to you." The brief distraction was all Austin needed to slip the diaper under Andrew's butt.


"What's a Baby Scout anyway?" Jake asked.


"It's like a toddler. Too little for Cub Scouts."


"No, I mean like we're Wolf Cubs, there's Bear Cubs, stuff like that." Jake shrugged. "So Baby Scouts must got something too, right?"


"I dunno what though." Austin said.


"Maybe... Chicks?" Zack suggested. "Like baby chickens, not like girls."


"Lambs."


"Please..." Andrew moaned as he felt Austin tape the diaper around his waist.


"Bunnies." Austin declared, pointing at the Bunnydale decal on the diaper. "So it goes Bear Cubs, Wolf Cubs," Andrew was abruptly reminded of what dorks the boys were as Jake and Zack howled. "Lion Cubs, Tiger Cubs, and then Andy the Baby Bunny."

"I am not a baby!"


"You're wearing a diaper!" Austin retorted. "And don't tear that off. We left your diaper bag back at the den meeting." Austin stood up. "Help our Baby Bunny up, guys." They eagerly obeyed, holding his arms so he could not tear off his diaper or even try to cover it up. "Either you admit you're a Baby Scout and we give you your uniform back or we'll leave you here in just your diaper."


"This is ridiculous!" How had no one come to investigate yet? Did they think they had gone to some other bathroom? It was a big school and basically empty on a Saturday, so maybe no one was coming.


"Still so crabby." Jake tutted.


"Is it cuz you didn't have a toy during your diaper change?" Austin asked. "What's your favorite toy to play with during a diaper change, Baby Bunny Andy?" He grinned. "Love the sound of that."


"I don't get diaper changes!"


"We'll be sure to give you one, with a toy, at the end of the meeting, kay?" Austin patted Andrew's cheek.


"We should probably get back, Austin." Jake said, realizing just how lucky they had got.


"Yeah, you're probably right. Take the Baby Bunny over there." He pointed to the far wall.


"Why?" Andrew asked, but neither Jake nor Zack did, complying wordlessly with Austin's order. Austin gathered up Andrew's clothes.


"Listen up, Baby Scout!" Austin said. "If you want your uniform back, you gotta do the bunny hop!"


"What!?"


"Shh, listen to the big boy, baby." Zack hissed in his ear.


"So what you're gonna do is hop, hop, shake your cotton tail." Austin demonstrated, hands up in front of his chest like bunny paws, glaring at Jake when he started to snicker.


"I'm just excited to see Andy do it."


"Uh-huh." Austin didn't sound convinced. "Got it, Baby Bunny?"


"Can you show us one more time?" Jake snorted.


"Hop, hop, shake your cotton tail." Austin repeated, without the demonstration.


"We're gonna let you go, but you should know better than to take your diaper off again." Zack said. Andrew could see this was the only way out. One last humiliation and then he could report back to Mr. Robbins. Not that I'll tell him every detail. He thought.


"Hop, hop, shake your cotton tail!" The boys repeated as Andrew did just that, wincing at the way the diaper crinkled when he hopped and especially when he waved his butt back and forth. "Hop! Hop! Shake your cotton tail!" They repeated until he finally reached Austin.


"Very good, Baby Scout." He said. "You've earned your Baby Scout shirt."


"What?" Austin quickly threw the rest of the uniform around Andrew, Zack and Jake ready to snatch it up. Austin laughed.


"You're so cute when you're surprised." He cooed. "Now, let's get your shirt on you."


"I can do it myself."


"Nope. I had to put your diaper on you and now it's time for your shirt. Baby Scouts don't get to dress themselves." Andrew realized just how long this could go on, so he raised his arms up for his shirt. "Good Baby Bunny." He gave Andrew's diapered bottom a pat. "When we get back, you're gonna have to reintroduce yourself as Andy the Baby Scout, y'know." Andrew glared daggers at him. "Now hop-hop over to your pants!"


To Andrew's relief, after he put his hands on Jake's shoulders to steady himself as he stepped into his pants, they only made him hop one more time to earn his shoes, hat, and neckerchief back. Sure, he had to sit down on the floor while Austin put his shoes on and tied them, but at least the diaper was out of sight. Their fun done, they unlocked the door and filed out into the hall. Andrew, free and furious, marched ahead. If the Wolf Cubs did not follow him, it would only make it more obvious how disobedient they were.


Jake, Zack, and Austin followed, all trying their best not to draw Andrew's attention any more. After all, if he turned back to look at them, he might just realize his shirt was tucked into the back of his diaper, the pastel plastic impossible to ignore against the khaki of his Boy Scout uniform.