Mary's Little Lamb

"Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb" Conner groaned and folded his pillow over his head. Not again. Thankfully, the thick pillow blocked out the sound of his sister's favorite song, but he was only at peace for a moment before realizing it was now, like always, stuck in his head. "With fleece as white as snow." He heard as he admitted defeat and got out of bed.


"Where even is she?" He asked as he emerged from his room and trudged to the bathroom. He would pee and then maybe go downstairs to beg Mom and Dad for earplugs. How did they stand it? Mary listened to this song like a million times a day. There were at least a bajillion other songs that mentioned her name, so why this one?

"There you are, lazybones." Dad said as Conner appeared downstairs. He wore his work uniform and was clearly about to leave. Lucky, Conner thought as that stupid song kept playing from the living room. "Haven't seen you all week."


"Want cereal?" Mom asked. Conner nodded. "Don't forget you're grounded today."


"How could I?" Conner muttered. At least with the music playing, he could get away with soft snide comments.


"You can always play with Mary." He pushed a large spoonful of cereal in his mouth to avoid answering. "In fact," Mom patted a cardboard box. "Once you're done eating, we can unpack this."


"What is"


"Don't talk with your mouth full." Conner swallowed.


"What is it?"


"Finish eating." Conner could not fight his own curiosity, wolfing down his cereal. "Bowl in the sink. And rinse it." Mom instructed. He tried to hide the fact he was rushing. What was in the box?


"I am not wearing that." He stared at the sheep costume and the smiling boy on its packaging. Mom ripped open the plastic bag.

"Think of it as the terms of your grounding. You can't play video games or go play with your friends, so this is what you'll do." She held the faux wool pants out to him.

"Fine, I'll go put it on."


"Nope. You're doing it right here."


"What? Why?" He glared at his sister, who was happily humming along to Mary Had A Little Lamb, as if it was her idea.


"Because I know your tricks." Mom said wryly. "Go on. Strip." Conner groaned and stripped, wincing as Mary sang about 'fleece as white as snow' as he stood there shivering in just his underwear. "Step." Mom instructed. The pants had little black hooves attached to them and in no time flat, Conner looked like a cute little faun, all woolly and white from the waist down. He wobbled for a second, trying to find his balance with the hooves forcing him onto the balls of his feet. "Arms." Mom instructed. Conner begrudgingly uncrossed his arms for the shirt with its attached hood and another pair of hooves to come down over them. "Ooh, it's a little snug." Mom said as she tugged the shirt down.



"Ow!" A little snug? They might have to cut it off of him!


"Oh, it's not that bad. We just" she grunted. "Need to get it to... budge!" Conner's head popped free just as one version of Mary ended and another one began. For the briefest second, he saw annoyance cross his mom's face. She hated it just as much as him. "Once we get your lamb dressed," she said, almost having to yell to be heard over the cheery music. "You two should go play outside."


"What? Like this?"


"No one will see in the backyard. Mary! Stop jumping on the furniture." She descended from the couch and looked over her brother appraisingly.


"Aw! You're a cute little lamb!" She gushed. "This will be fun."


"What will?"


"We're gonna play all day long." She said with a grin. "Everywhere that Mary went" she pointed to herself. "Her lamb was sure to go." She pointed to him before squealing and giving him such a strong hug, he nearly fell off of his hooves.


"That's adorable." Mom said, seizing the opportunity to snap a photo. Mary stepped back and looked at him.

"Come on, little lamb."


"I'm a sheep." It felt at least a little more dignified.


"Mary had a little sheep? Nope." Mary laughed.


"Uh, what if..." She grabbed his hand and pulled him wobbling along.


"See? You're wobbling like a little baby lamb." Mary said. "And your hooves are so cute the way they click and clack." Cute? Conner had another word for it.


"What if you're Bo Peep and I'm your lost sheep."


"My name's Mary. And now I have a little lamb!" She grinned at him. "And you're going to follow me everywhere, okay?"


"Sure." Follow the Leader at least sounded normal.


"Okay, let's see." She began to walk, stopping every few steps to look back and make sure he was following her. "What should we do first?"


"I dunno." Mary laughed.


"Well, you're a lamb. You're not supposed to know. Or talk." Conner rolled his eyes.


"It's just pretend."


"Still." She began to walk toward the small plastic playground Dad had built them a few years ago. "Come on, little lamb." She delighted in making him follow her all over the playground and the backyard, giggling at how he wobbled on the uneven ground in his hooves. With the sun out on Mary in her sundress and him in his sheep costume, he expected to start boiling, but he found that he was surprisingly comfortable. In a way, there was something almost relaxing about the day, following Mary around the backyard.


"Isn't she tired of making me follow her?" He started to wonder, but Mary never seemed to get bored. Now that she was living like the Mary in the song, she was on cloud nine. And I look like a freaking cloud.

"Let's skip!" She began to skip along and Conner found himself immediately following suit, even waving his hands around like her. He self-consciously brought his hands down to his sides, but they soon returned to their raised position. I look like a dork, he said, suddenly grateful for the high fences.


"Conner was a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb!" Mary sang. "Conner was a little lamb, his fleece was white as snow!"


"Baa." Conner muttered. Mary giggled and sat down under the shade of a big tree.


"Ooh, daisies!" She began to pick some. Conner took the opportunity to plop down beside her and just watch the sky. "Some of those clouds look like you, little lamb." She said with a smile, tying the daisies' stems together. "I'm going to make you a nice daisy chain crown. Won't that be fun?"


"Baa."


"Y'know, one of my storybooks shows Mary feeding her little lamb a bottle. Should we ask Mommy for one of those?" Conner glared at her. "I'm just teasing. I know this is just pretend." She leaned over and patted his wool head. "I really like that we're playing together." She pulled away and Conner realized she had planted the daisy chain crown atop his head.


"Baa!" He said. His eyes widened as he realized he had not just told her to take it off his head. "Baa? Baa!" Mary giggled.


"You're really getting into this, aren't you?" He tried to get her attention, waving a hoof, but she jumped up and took off running. He found himself having to follow after her with an annoyed bleat. They were his own voice, but why was it the only thing he could say? I can still think words, but…


Mary led him around and around, giggling as her brother had no choice but to follow her. Finally, she stopped and turned back to watch him catch up.


"Y'know what? Conner isn't a good name for my lamb."


"Baa."


"I'm glad you agree." She smiled. "Hey, uh, is baa all you can say?"


"Baa. Baa." Mary grinned.


"Yeah, Conner definitely isn't a good name."


"Baa!"


"But what to call you?" She tapped her chin. "I know, Lilybelle!" She giggled. "Lilybelle the little lamb." Conner tried to tell her his name was Conner and always would be, but all he could do was baa. What was going on? He had to get help. With a growl, he stormed toward the house, ignoring Mary's calls after him. "Lilybelle!" She said sternly. He stopped. "That's a good lamb. Come back over here." He tried to fight it, but he turned back toward her. "We'll go back inside for lunch, but it's nice out here."


"What are we going to do then?" He asked, hoping that his baa got the point across.


"Are you asking what we should play next?" He nodded and Mary smiled.


"We could do hopscotch?" She pointed down at his hooves. "Your cute widdle lamby feet will probably give you an advantage, don't you think?"


"Baa." It was hard to sound angry when all you could do was bleat.


"I mean, you're my little lamb, so if I go over to the sidewalk to play hopscotch, so do you." She smiled sweetly. "Come along, Lilybelle!" She began to skip over and Conner found himself following along, skipping just as merrily, waving his hooves to and fro. She better drop the Lilybelle thing, he thought. She did not, grabbing chalk and deciding to keep score for their hopscotch game, writing Mary and then Lilybelle beneath it, even drawing a little white sheep. "What do you think?"


"Baa."


"Yeah, it's not quite as pretty as you." She stared up at him. "Can you really not talk or is this your way of like protesting?"


"Baa."


"Hmm... if you say something other than baa, I'll leave you alone." Conner's heart raced. His face twisted as he summoned up all his focus. Here. I. Go.

"Baaaaa!"


"Wow! That was impressive." Mary shrugged. "I guess it makes sense for a little lamb to only be able to baa, right, Lilybelle?" Conner glared at her, but she pretended not to notice.


By lunchtime, Conner had grown tired of hopscotch. The whole point of the game was to throw and retrieve a pebble, which proved impossible with hooves. All he could do was hop back and forth, listening to Mary go on and on about what a pretty little lamb he was. Between games, she would even randomly go running off or even skipping, giggling with delight as he had no choice but to follow her, often doing so before he even realized it.


Finally, however, Mom called them in for lunch. She quickly dashed across the kitchen to retrieve her phone in time to record her daughter skipping in to the house with her son close behind, skipping just as merrily, even if his face made it look like he was being forced to do so.


"Looks like you two have been having fun. I've got PB and J for you Mary and for Conner"


"Lilybelle."


"Huh?"


"Since I'm Mary and this is my little lamb, I named him Lilybelle." She looked Conner over. "At least, I think you're a boy lamb." Conner frowned. If Lilybelle was her name for a boy lamb, do I even want to know what she'd name me if I was a girl?


"And you're ok with this, Conner? Um, Lilybelle?"


"Baa" was all Conner could say.


"Lilybelle's really committed to being a good little lamby." Mom's astonishment was written all over her face.


"Alright, well, since Lilybelle doesn't have hands, I made a smoothie."


"Oh, wonderful. Doesn't that look good? I bet it has everything a little lamb needs."

"Let your brother enjoy his smoothie." Mom said, shaking her head in disbelief.


Lunch passed uneventfully other than Mary insisting on wiping his face after he finished his smoothie.


"We wouldn't want to stain your fleece." She said. "Oh! Stay right here." She ran out of the room.

"You've been very patient with your sister." Mom said, smiling down at him. "That name? Where does she come up with this stuff> Tell you what. Are you ready to stop playing?"


"Baa!" Conner nodded eagerly.


"Oh. I'll take that as a no." Mom said in surprise. She walked away, seeming to not hear his desperate bleats. He tried to give chase, but his butt seemed glued to the seat and his hooves scraped ineffectually on the floor. What? Mary had told him to stay and now he couldn't move?


"Lilybelle!" Mary called, running back into the room with a bell in her hand. "Look what I've got! A little lamb needs a bell!" Try as he might to bleat and push her away, she got it around his neck. "Oh, perfect. Mommy! Come look!"


"Oh, isn't that lovely. Now you'll always know where Lilybelle is."


"As if you're ever far away." Mary said, giving him a fond pat on the head. "Let's go back outside. I can read my book and you, my little lamby, can graze."


"He just ate lunch." Mom laughed as the pair headed for the backyard. It was so interesting how Conner started out shuffling, but then ended up skipping along just like his sister in a matter of steps. How he was doing that on hooves, she had no idea. "Lilybelle. Huh."


Conner had hoped that Mary had meant it when she said she was just going to read her book. Instead, he had to follow her as she skipped around the backyard, singing Mary Had a Little Lamb twice in a row, the bell around his neck jingling just as merrily as they skipped. Finally, she flopped down at the base of the tree and smiled at him.


"Feel free to graze, but don't go too far." She looked him up and down. "And really, shouldn't a lamb be on all fours?" He took the hint and dropped down to his haunches. "Good Lilybelle." She giggled. "You should probably practice being on all fours."


"Baa!?"


"I'm just joking. Geez. Even as a widdle lamby, you overreact." She shrugged." I think Mommy and Daddy will let you stop at dinner, right? Pretty sure." She opened her book and Conner sat there, waiting. This could be his chance. Once she got invested in her book, he could try to get this lamb costume off. He soon realized that the hooves made it impossible. He crawled a short distance away, but every time he came close to hooking a hoof under the hem of his shirt to at least try, Mary would call him over and stroke his ears.


"Baa." He said, hoping she understood that he meant to say 'can't we be done yet?'. She only smiled at him and went back to her book. What was she even reading? He peered down at the pages and immediately lost interest. Did Mom plan to make him do this every time he was grounded? Cling-cling went the bell around his neck as Mary played with it.


"Lovely Lilybelle my little lamb." She said.


"Baa." He muttered. She laughed.


"It's really funny that that's all you can say, y'know?"


"Baa."


"I know you don't think it's funny, but" she grinned. "Mommy didn't even notice. Maybe you can be my lamb for forever." No way, Conner thought. But would he have a choice? What if he kept bleating even after the costume came off?


"Mary! Lilybelle! Come inside for dinner."


"Did you hear that? She used your name, lamby!" Mary giggled even as Conner felt like he might be sick. "Let's skip inside!" Conner groaned as he got to his feet, wondering if it was actually a groan or some sort of stretched-out bleat.


Mary led him all over the backyard and even up the playground and down the slide before they came skipping inside. Dad sat at the dining room table, chuckling as they came skipping in, Conner's bell tinkling musically with every motion.


"It'll be bath time after this. You've got school in the morning." Mom said as she set food in front of Mary and another smoothie in front of Conner. So much for getting to change.


"Can Lilybelle join me?"


"Lambs don't go in the tub. It's only for humans." Mom said. I'll almost be thankful for a shower after today, Conner thought. "Lilybelle can wait outside." Outside outside? Conner thought in a panic. It turned out that instead, he sat on the carpeted floor outside the bathroom while Mary took a bath, her favorite song playing at top volume. He tried again to slip his hoof under the hem of the shirt and even into the hood he wore, but it was no use. The plastic hoof or whatever it was made of just slid over his faux wool. Mom and Dad just smiled as they passed him in the hall, not even stopping when he bleated pleadingly at them. This was getting scary.


"Lilybelle!" Mary exclaimed as she emerged in a white robe with strawberries on it. "Let's go get ready for bed!" She walked along, not even having to check if Conner was following as his hooves clicked and his bell jangled.


She closed her bedroom door behind them and Conner wondered just what would happen next. He looked away as she dressed in her pajamas, wondering if he could open the door with his mouth somehow. Stupid hooves.


"Alright," Mary said with a sigh. "Oh, Lilybelle!" He turned toward her.


"Baa." He said in resignation. She must be planning something.


"I'm going to bed," Mary said, emphasizing 'going' in what had to be the most annoying tone possible. "Which means my lamb needs to too!" She said it in sing-song, but he recognized a command when he heard one. He wanted so bad to say the game was over and he was not doing that, that going to sleep was not even the same thing as actually going some place, but all he could was utter a whiny bleat as he joined her in bed. She placed an arm over him and closed her eyes. How long was this going to go on? It was Monday tomorrow. As if to answer him, Mary began to sing in a dreamy half-awake voice.


"He followed me to school one day, school one day, school one day..." she began to snore.


The End