Gigglefest

Jack felt as if the scales had fallen from his eyes as he watched his brothers go back and forth. How had he never seen it before? He was so puzzled and bemused that he actually scratched his head as he watched James and Jonny play Jonny's favorite game. It had no name, but it was mostly saying silly gross things in goofy voices. Jonny was only five, after all.

"Fart!" Jonny said, squealing and giggling.

"Booger!" James replied, grinning. Jack could not find out if James actually found it funny or was just humoring his little brother. What mattered was that they almost looked like twins, despite the vast age difference.

For most of Jack's life, James had been his big brother. He was two years older and had always seemed so mature. Then somehow, Jack had hit a bizarre growth spurt and now towered over James and Jonny both. Out of habit, he still considered himself the middle brother, but why? James and Jonny were what? Seven years apart or something like that, yet they really did seem like twins.

As the game ended and James stood up to go figure out dinner, Jack eyed his brother. He was taller than Jonny, but by how much? Had James always been so... scrawny seemed right, but itty bitty sounded better. Yes, James was itty bitty! Bewildered that he had never noticed it before, Jack followed James into the kitchen under the pretense of getting a glass of water.

"Here, let me help you." He said as he saw James going to grab the kitchen stool. "I don't need that." He got everything James needed and set it on the counter.

"Thanks." James said, his face still red from playing with Jonny. Their parents called it a gigglefest when those two got going.

"No problem." Jack walked back out to the living room and smiled down at Jonny, who was happily playing on the floor. "Hey, bug."

"Hi." Jonny craned his neck to look up at Jack.

"James and I had a fun idea." He sat down on the floor. "Remember when you and Tommy took a bath together when Tommy visited last summer?" Jonny nodded. "Wasn't it fun having a bath buddy?"

"Yeah."

"Well, James and I, it was really James's idea." He leaned in to whisper, knowing Jonny loved nothing more than whispering conspiratorially. "What if James took a bath with you tonight?"

"Tommy's my age. James is big."

"Yeah, but even bigger boys need to be clean, don't they?"

"I guess."

"You two have so much fun with your gigglefests, why don't we just go ahead and have you two take your baths together, huh?"

"I thought James took showers."

"Nope. Like I said, it was his idea." Jack smiled and held a finger to his lips as he heard James coming. "But he wants it to be a surprise, so shhh."

“Jack, can you set the table please?” James asked, bracing himself for Jack to argue.

“Sure can.” Jack walked merrilly into the kitchen, listening to make sure Jonny did not spoil the secret. He heard high pitched giggles, but it was impossible to tell if they were Jonny’s or James’s. How had he not noticed, he wondered, slapping the kitchen counter in frustration.

He grabbed two worn plastic Sesame Street cups and then a glass for himself, carrying them to the dining room table and placing them at each boy’s time-honored spot. He wondered if James would question it.

With Jonny on board, Jack could hardly wait through dinner. He ate, sneaking peeks at both of his brothers. He could tell Jonny was excited, but James seemed none the wiser, figuring Jonny was just excited to have his favorite smiley face french fries. He did not even question the Sesame Street cup, which Jack took as enough evidence to justify his plan.

"Here, I'll clear the table." Jack said. "James, do you want to go get Jonny ready for his bath?" Behind James's back, Jack mimed zipping his lips, winking at Jonny, who nodded so energetically, Jack almost expected his head to go flying off.

Loading the dishwasher took no time at all. As Jack climbed the stairs, he could hear the sound of Jonny's bathtime song playing. He poked his head into the bathroom to see James sitting on the toilet while Jonny sat in the water.

"Oops, looks like we forgot towels." Jack remarked, grabbing two from the linen closet. He had a feeling James would not look closely enough to notice. He stepped back into the bathroom. Jonny kept looking at him expectantly. "Hmm" Jack mused. He had been planning this throughout dinner. "We've got Jonny in the tub, but what about you, Jimmy?"

"What did you call me?" Seemingly the moment James had turned ten, he had put his foot down hard. It was James and nothing but. Jack laughed.

"Your name, silly. C'mon, quit lolly gagging. Jonny set a great example by getting right in the tub and it's your turn."

"What are you" Jack lifted James off of the toilet, chuckling as he kicked in the air. He was almost as light as Jonny or maybe those afternoons in the garage with dad's old weights had been paying off.

"Here we go! Time for tubby time!" He lifted James over the tub, Jonny giggling uproariously.

"Stop! Let me down!"

"You don't want to take a bath in your clothes?" James squirmed and grunted.

"Let me go! What are you doing?"

"Well," Jack continued. He knew from Jonny -- and Tommy -- that you just kept going and doing what was best for the little boy until he relented and accepted it was happening. "Let's get you undressed then." In one motion, he set James down on the bath mat, knelt, and lifted up his shirt. "I see Jimmy's tumtum!" He teased, giving it a playful pat as he held the t-shirt over James's face.

"Stop! What are you doing?" Jack kept going, catching James's hands as he tried to push him away and threading them through the sleeves of his shirt. "Give me that back!" He yelled as Jack tossed it aside. He allowed James to pursue it, if only because it made it extra easy to reach out and yank down James's pants and boxers as one.

"I see James's butt!" Jonny crowed from the tub, splashing in his excitement.

"That's right, Jonny. Jimmy has a bumbum just like you." Jonny giggled. He effortlessly grabbed James's arm and pulled his brother back over to him. He stumbled and all but fell into Jack's lap. "And see? What's this?" He shamelessly pointed.

"Jam, uh, Jimmy's dinky!"

"That's right. Jimmy is a boy, just like you and me, isn't he?"

"What is wrong with you?" James snarled. "Let me go!"

"You're one step away from tubby time, Jimmy. Now do you have to go peepee or poopy?"

"Fu" Quick as a flash, Jack brought a hand over James's mouth.

"Don't you dare use that language in front of Jonny." Jack's voice was the epitome of warning. "Unless you want the first thing we wash to be your mouth." James, all too aware that, naked as he was, he was completely at Jack's mercy, mellowed. "Now let's get you into the tub." He stood up and picked James up, holding him there in midair. With his hands under James's arms, there was no way for him to cover himself. "Jonny, can you start bathing yourself while I get Jimmy situated?" Jonny nodded, eager to prove himself as the easier to handle of the two.

James soon discovered that Jack had much more extensive plans than simply getting him situated. He squirmed and wiggled and snarled, but Jack was bound and determined to give him a complete bath as Jonny looked on.

"Did you get behind your ears?" Jack would say whenever the washcloth stopped moving across Jonny's body. He was so focused on keeping James under control that he was halfway through before it really sunk in just how comfortably James and Jonny fit in the tub together. Sure, he knew it would work since Tommy and Jonny had shared, but the part of his mind that still considered James to be his big brother had had its doubts. Well, doubt no longer, he thought.

"All that's left is your dinky and bumbum, Jimmy. Can I trust you to wash those yourself like a good little boy?" James grunted. "Now, Jimmy." Jack was about to scold him when he thought of a better strategy. "Jonny, what do you do when Mommy or Daddy asks you a question?"

"Answer it."

"With?"

"My big boy words."

"That's right. See, buddy?" He rubbed James's back. "Now let's try that again. Can I trust you to wash your dinky and bumbum like a good little boy?"

"Yes!" James whined.

"What do you think, Jon? Did Jimmy sound like a good little boy there and use his big boy words?" An inarticulate whine escaped James's lips as he realized what was happening. His refusal to cooperate was getting him busted down to a level where even Jonny was bigger than him.

"Don't think so." Jonny said.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to let you do it next time." Jack said.

"But"

"My mind's made up, snuggle bug." He could tell from James's face that he had noticed being referred to by the nickname Jonny had had since infancy. Were those tears welling up in his eyes? "I'll do it for you tonight."

"Can I help wash Jimmy?" Jonny blurted out. Both of his brothers stared at the five year old, although James was thoroughly offended and Jack was simply surprised, as well as intrigued.

"You know what? That'll save us some time. Up on your knees, Jimmy." Jimmy tried to formulate some sort of protest, but Jack slipped his hands under his squeaky clean arms and lifted him to a kneeling position. "Jonny, you take his bumbum, I'll handle his dinky."

Tears of humiliation began to streak down James's cheeks as his brothers tag teamed bathing his most private areas. Why was this happening and why did he feel powerless to stop it? He fought to regain control of himself. It was almost over, right? It had to be.

"There we go! Two squeaky clean little boys!" He grinned, admiring his handiwork. "Wow, you did pretty well washing yourself, Jonny! Jimmy could learn from your example."

"That's not my name." James muttered, feeling drained by all the embarrassment. He lowered himself back down so that he was sitting on his feet.

"Is so." Jack replied cheerfully. "Alright, who wants out first?"

Lifting Jonny out of the tub, he rubbed him vigorously with a hooded towel before letting him wrap it around himself.

"You're a shark!" Jack said with a laugh as Jonny wiggled back and forth to make the fin atop his head wobble cartoonishly. "A silly little sharky!"

"I’m a silly shark!" Jonny agreed.

"Go wait by the door for us." Jack said, knowing that it was very likely James might try to make a break for it. Jonny, none the wiser, took up his position at the bathroom door, still playing with his fin. "Up you come!" Now that he had just lifted Jonny, he could confirm that James was heavier, but not uncomfortably so. Certainly lighter than he would ever expect a boy two years older than him to be. Then again, he thought. He was an eleven year old who was often mistaken for a teenager, so anything was possible, right?

He dried James off, holding back a thousand comments about the boy's body. He had had a lot of excitement so far and the night was not over yet. Jonny, standing by the door, yawned loudly.

"Getting close to bed, huh, Jonny?" Jonny nodded, which set off a fresh wave of giggles as his fin flapped again. Jack shook his head and James snorted derisively. "Your brother took the shark, so you get to be a ferocious dinosaur!" Jack said, wrapping the green hooded towel around James's shoulders. "Roar!"

"Roar." James mumbled, seeming to not even notice he had done it. Jack smiled and stood up, stretching his back a bit. He looked at Jonny, who was eyeing James's dinosaur towel's row of spikes covetously, and grinned.

"Think I can manage to carry the both of you?" Jonny nodded.

"Carry us? What? Where? Wh" reminding himself that continuing on heedless of James's protests had gotten him to comply with a bath, Jack tuned out his stream of frantic questions. Amazing how an almost thirteen year old responded to the same things as a toddler, Jack mused.

“Up comes Jonny,” he grunted. “And up comes Jimmy!”

“Put me down!” James protested, squirming.

“Settle down. We’re just going down the hall, not across town!” He left the bathroom, nearly losing his hold on James as the boy wiggled desperately. Thankfully, he thought, Jonny’s room was the closest to the bathroom. He charged in and tossed the boys onto Jonny’s shark bedspread. He grinned at how similar they looked lying there, towels immodestly open. “Don’t fall asleep yet!” He said before they could even sit up. “Let’s get you two dressed.” He held out a hand for each of them, pulling them up. He kept hold of James’s hand, leading the boy away from his towel and over to Jonny’s dresser.

“What are you doing?” James demanded.

“Are you going Spider-Man or Batman?” Jack asked Jonny. Jonny immediately grabbed a grey and yellow pair with Batman’s logo on them. Jack nodded and grabbed a pair of Spider-Man briefs. “These are for you, Jimmy joe!”

"What? I can't wear those!" Jack sighed, rolling his eyes the way their parents did when one of them protested something silly.

"Jonny, is it okay if Jimmy wears a pair of your underwear?"

"That's not what I meant!" James protested as Jonny eagerly gave his consent.

"These are so much better than those droopy, saggy boxers you wear."

"You wear boxers"

"We're not talking about me right now." Jack said. "We're getting you dressed. Now do you want to put your undies on like a big boy or do I have to hold them out for you to step into?" James muttered something dangerously close to a swear word, but snatched the red and blue briefs from Jack and pulled them on. "Thank you." Jack suddenly gasped. "You know what we forgot to do? Brush teeth! God, I'm absent minded!" Knowing his brother too well, Jack picked James up and led the way back to the bathroom.

“Jonny, can you get your toothbrush and Jimmy’s ready for us?” He kept holding James. “Isn’t he helpful?” He asked the struggling preteen.

“Not the grape toothpaste!” James whined.

“You’re brushing your teeth with it, not eating it.” Jack teased. “Jonny, what’s the rules for tooth brushing?”

“To get all my teeth, I keep brushing through the whole song.” Whole song? James groaned as he remembered that Jonny had a song for everything. Bath time, tooth brushing, even for buckling his booster seat in the car.

“Jimmy’s going to join you, so can you show him your tooth brushing dance?”

“There’s a dance too?” James asked, irritated. Dance proved to be a bit of an exaggeration as Jonny mimed brushing his teeth while wiggling his bottom back and forth and stomping rhythmically in place.

“Think you can handle that?”

“You’re not seriously gonna”

“Go on!” Jack set James down, blocking the door and his only means of escape. “Go on, Jimmy.”

“I am not doing this!”

“It’s fun!” Jonny said. “And it helps us have good healthy teeth. Right, Jack?”

“That’s right!” He gestured for Jonny to demonstrate again. “Go on, Jimmy.”

“Stop calling ow!” He rubbed his bottom.

“I don’t want to have to actually swat your grumpies away, Jimmy.” Jack said.

“You can’t spank me!” James protested, voice wavering.

“Well, I hope it doesn’t come to bumbum swats. Try out Jonny’s dance.” James sighed and half-heartedly copied his brother. Two little boys dancing around in their underwear was almost too adorable for words. “See how Jonny’s closing his eyes to really feel the music?” Jack said with a chuckle. “Don’t be afraid to get into it like your brother, Jimmy!” He checked that his phone was in his pocket and then handed them their toothbrushes. “Ready?” He hit play on the music.

“Don’t start brushing until it says.” Jonny said to James. “We just dance a bit first.”

“Great” the music stopped.

“Jimmy, you need to dance.”

“What? Why?”

“Maybe you’re too little to brush like a big boy. I needed to bathe you, after all.”

“You really think that’s going to work?”

“Do you really want me to brush your teeth for you?” Jack asked with a confident smirk. “Dance or you’re doing it naked. On the front porch.” It was a meaningless threat, but James seemed like he would comply. “Restarting the song.”

The cheery music played and the boys danced as they followed the singer’s instructions on how to properly brush their teeth. Jonny was far more into it, but James danced enough that Jack felt confident in sneaking photos and a few seconds of video to show their parents. According to the evidence, they were both happy little boys brushing their teeth and having fun. Having them do it in their underwear instead of their pajamas was an accidental stroke of genius, he mused.

They spit into the sink, which seemed to be the most fun part for the both of them. Jack could not resist pulling out his phone to document their impromptu spitting contest, Spidey and Batman unironically waggling on their butts. He smiled, glad that fun triumphed over embarrassment.

“Back to the bedroom for jammies, you two ragamuffins.” He said, tapping their shoulders and gently nudging them toward the door. He grinned as Jonny took James’s hand and led him back to his room, as if he knew just as much as Jack that James might run at a moment’s notice.

James only returned to himself once they were at Jonny’s dresser and the five year old was handing him pajamas. He looked at the pajamas and then at Jack.

“You put them on, dork.” He said fondly, patting James’s soft hair.

“But”

“Jonny’s gonna beat you!” James looked at Jonny and quickly dressed, the two of them stumbling around as they tried to get their shorts and shirts on first.

"Isn't that funny? Jonny's wearing Batman undies, but Spider-Man jammies and Jimmy's wearing Spider-Man undies, but Batman jammies." Jonny giggled appreciatively, but James glowered, all too aware of how he had been tricked yet again. "Don't worry, Jimmy. You two can swap jammies tomorrow night."

“Tomorrow night?”

“I think it’s bedtime. Does anyone have to go peepee? Hopefully not since we were just in the bathroom.”

“I gotta go.” Jonny said.

“Of course you do.” Jack said with a laugh. “Come on, you two.”

“I don’t need to.”

“You’re still gonna try.” Jack said, reaching down to pick James up. James dodged around him and followed Jonny to the bathroom, stopping at the door. “Just a couple steps more, snuggle bug.” Jack said, lifting him just enough to carry him over the threshold. Jonny went over to the toilet and tugged his shorts and underwear down to his ankles. Jack smiled. “Go on, Jimmy. Try and pee.”

“But Jonny’s using”

“Jon can share.” He pushed the stammering teen over to the toilet and yanked down his shorts and underwear so that he mirrored. “We both saw your butt and dinky earlier. We’re all boys here.” He grinned at the scene before him as James tried to go. “Don’t cross the streams!” He joked.

He watched as the boys finished up, tugging up and rearranging their clothes before Jonny led the way over to the sink to wash their hands. It was so bizarre how James would be sullen one moment and then acting like he and Jonny were twins the next. Had he secretly been wanting this? No, that had to be Jack reading too far into things, didn’t it?

“Another yawn! Who was that?” He snickered as Jonny and James each pointed at his brother. “Well, I guess you two will both have to go ninis, hmm?”

“What? Already?” James protested. “C’mon. I’ve been playing along.”

“We’re not playing a game, are we, Jonny?” Jonny held back a giggle as he tried to shake his head as solemnly as possible. “See? Off to bed we go!”

“Can you carry us again?” Jonny asked. “That was fun!” Jack grinned, unsure if Jonny just wanted to be carried out of pure innocent joy or if he knew it would both annoy James and keep him from escaping.

“I’m glad you two had fun! Let’s do it, but” he paused and bent over to meet Jonny’s eyes and James’s glare. “There’s a toll this time. You both have to kiss my cheek.” Jonny giggled and immediately complied. “C’mon, Jimmy. Kiss big brother’s cheek.” Jack snorted as James looked positively scandalized.

“Just do it.” He said, pulling James closer. He sighed and pecked Jack’s cheek. All he got for his sacrifice was being scooped up and carried back to his youngest brother’s room. Jonny giggled as they once again got tossed onto the bed. “Alrighty ho, sleepy little boys under the covers.”

“Both of us?” James asked.

"This bed's more than big enough for both of you." Jack said. "You and I shared a bed before we moved here."

"Yeah, when we were little."

"Jimmy!" Jack laughed in surprise. "You're still little, sweetie. That's been the whole point of this. To remind you that you're little. For goodness sakes, you're wearing the same jammies and undies as your five year old brother. Does that sound big to you?"

"I'm big." Jonny protested.

"Yeah, but compared to me?"

"You're bigger than me." Jonny allowed.

"Which makes you?" Jonny thought about it for a second.

"Little."

"Yep. See, Jimmy? Jonny accepts it. Isn't Jimmy little too, Jonny?" Jonny looked over his brother.

"Yep."

"There we go. Two itty bitty” yes, that was the right word. “Boys who need to get to bed.” He tousled James’s hair. “You both seem tired."

"He's the only one yawning."

"Yes and you, mister, you're pretty grouchy. Sounds like a sleepy little boy to me." He pulled back the covers and herded them in. “There, see? You two don’t even need to cuddle.” He tucked them in, planning to snap a few more pictures of them once they were asleep to prove that they could share a bed, with room to grow. “Everyone all snug?”

“Yes.” James only grunted, so Jack assumed Jonny was speaking for both of them.

“Sweet dreams, little guys.” He said with a smile, turning out the light. He pretended to walk away, but sat down outside the door. He heard whispers and giggles, but that was fine. As long as James did not try to sneak out and stayed with what Jack dubbed a late night gigglefest. He smirked. Late night… yeah, right.

He ran through the photos and video on his phone to make sure they presented the story he wanted. Nodding affirmatively, he texted his parents that he had something to show them. Two curious replies later and he sent off his evidence that James was better off being little. He chuckled as both of his parents’ replies made it clear that they saw just what he wanted them to see: two adorable little boys having a blast.

“Why’s he in those undies?” Mom asked.

“I caught them peeking out of his pants today and he confessed he’s been sneaking them and wearing them under his boxers for like a month.” Jack replied. “They fit and I figured there was no harm in letting him be open. Turns out, he’s been jealous of Jonny.”

“Well, he sure seems happier.” Dad replied. “You’re right, what’s the harm?” The giggles had been replaced by soft snores, so Jack stood up and, easing Jonny’s door open, snapping a few photos of the sleeping boys softly illuminated by the setting sun outside. He sent the photos to his parents and knew Jimmy’s fate was sealed.