Cody

Cody stood there in nothing but his underwear, so distracted by the collar he had found around his neck when he woke up that he hadn't even put on clothes. It had a little silver dog tag with his name on it! Why did he have it on and why wasn't he able to get it off?

"I'll deal with it later." He decided after tugging at the collar for a few minutes. It was chilly and he was in just his underwear. Time to get dressed.

"Huh." He stared down at the empty drawers. It was empty. All the drawers were! Did Mom forget to bring his laundry up? Did he dare run downstairs in just his undies -- and the collar. How had he forgotten about the collar? There was only one solution. "Mom! Mom! Mom!" He yelled. It always had to be repeated three times. That was how you got her attention.

"Hush, Cody!" She said as she came into the room.

"Mom, where's my clothes?"

"Here," She held up a strange unitard that Cody had not noticed before. It was pink and flocked.

"What is that?" Rather than answer, she grabbed him and began to wrangle him into it.

Cody fought and squirmed, but his mom seemed like she had done this before. As she zipped it up, Cody felt the unitard tighten around him, to the point where it almost seemed like a second skin. What was this thing?

The entire garment was covered in short pink fur except where it exploded out into a fluffy pink vest and down below, what almost looked like wooly pink undies. He even had matching fur pompoms around his wrists and ankles, right where the sleeves and legs ended.

Feeling something strange above his butt, he saw a tail with a pink pompom. As his mom secured a headband with pink fluffy floppy ears on his head, Cody realized he looked like some strange combination of a boy and a poodle. A pink poodle, he realized with disgust.

"Breakfast's downstairs." Mom said before Cody felt like he had really come to terms with his unorthodox outfit. She pushed him out the door and down to the dining room, the ears on his headband bouncing as he went down the stairs.

Sitting there on the table was a silver dog bowl with his name on it.

"Mom?" Sensing his confusion, she took the bowl off the table and set it on the floor.

"There you go, boy. Eat!" He kneeled down before realizing how silly this whole thing was.

"Like? Stick my face in it?" Mom had moved on to her next morning task, so Cody picked the bowl up and returned to the table.

"No! Cody, down! Down!" His dad said. "Off the table." Ok, Cody thought. If they want me to eat like a dog, I'll give them eating like a dog!

Lowering himself to all fours, he took a fortifying breath before diving in. Before long, he was having fun with the novelty, relishing not having to sit up straight or use utensils.

He was halfway through before he realized the pellets he was eating weren't his usual chocolate cereal. What was it? It tasted kinda meaty, but good. He kept eating, figuring he'd find out later what it was. If it tasted good and filled his tummy, it couldn't be poison.

"Looks like someone likes it." He heard his dad say.

"Good. It's apparently the most popular brand of puppy chow." Puppy chow? He looked down at the few pieces left with curiosity and concern. It didn't look like the puppy chow he'd had at Cub Scouts...

He licked up one of the remaining pellets of... What? Kibble? It didn't taste the way he would think dog food would taste. It tasted meaty and good, but unlike anything else he could remember eating. Weird.

Well, if his parents wanted him to be a dog, he would play along. He crawled over to his dad and put his head on his leg. To his surprise, his dad automatically began to pet his head. It felt good!

"Cody's getting shaggy. Good thing you made him an appointment at the groomer."

"The groomer?" Cody's head shot up from his dad's knee.

"Yes, the barber, bud." His dad said with a chuckle.

"Oh. I thought you said groomer..."

"Speaking of which, we'd better get going. C'mon, Cody. C'mon boy!" He got up onto his feet and walked after his mom. "Are you ready for walkies, Cody? Cody go walkies."

"Mom, c'mon."

"Yep! Walkies!" Cody stared as he saw something strange hanging on the coat rack: a leash!

"No, no way!" In truth, it was more like a harness with the way mom wrestled it onto him, the white straps sticking out embarrassingly well against the pink wool of his poodly vest. "This is too much!" He tried to pull the ears off of his head, but they seemed stuck to his hair. Had mom pinned them in there somehow? He could feel like a million bumpy bobby pins!

"Oh, Cody's scratching again. I'll have to mention it at the appointment."

"Mom! C'mon, this is... weird!"

"Let's go, Cody. We don't want to be late." That one sounded more normal, so Cody reluctantly allowed himself to be led out into the greater world.

"Shoot! My shoes, mom!" He wiggled his toes as he looked down at his bare feet. She did not seem to care.

"Let's run, Cody. We could both use the exercise." Mom began to jog and, since she was holding his leash -- god, a leash! -- Cody had to jog too, ears flapping and tail bouncing. He almost felt naked as they neared a couple, but reminded himself of his unitard. It really did feel like his skin. Furry skin, but skin nonetheless. Why do I have to be pink though, he wondered as he stared down at his ankle pompoms just above his bare feet. It was strange, but somehow, he could run on the sidewalk without even noticing his bare feet unless he really thought about them. He felt a tug at his chest and realized he had gotten ahead of his mom.

"This isn't demeaning at all." Cody mumbled.

"Hello!" He almost yelped in surprise as he heard the voice of Belinda, his most hated neighbor. More than once, she had called kids’ parents for daring to ride their bike on the sidewalk outside her house. He tried to tug on the leash, but it was too late; she was upon him, giving his floppy pink ears a good scritch. It felt good, but the accompanying sickly sweet commentary did not. “Who’s a good poodle? Who’s a goody woody poodle woodle? Just the cutest widdle poodly poo in the whole wide world!”

“Hello, Belinda.” Mom said as Cody tried to get free. If he was really a dog, he’d bite her, and he was almost tempted to.

“Where are you off to with little miss Cody poodly poo?” She had moved on from his ears to holding his face in her enormous hands, squishing his cheeks.

“I’m a boy!” Cody protested, trying to pull away.

“We’re out for a walk.” Mom said amiably. “To take Cody to the g-r-o-o-m-e-r-s.”

“I can spell!”

“Oh, is Cody off to the puppy parlor? She’s so perky, pink, and pretty, I thought she was coming back!”

“You’re telling me…” Cody muttered.

“Off you go, Cody! Prance off to your pretty appointment and come show auntie Belinda what a prissy, pretty poodle you are!” She smiled and waved as Cody was finally able to escape.

Free from Belinda, Cody felt pretty good, at least until he remembered he was outside dressed like a pink poodle. He stayed close to his mom, who gave him a few ear scritches, which did make him feel a bit better and more able to roam around as much as the leash allowed him.

Spying a dog approaching – another dog? – Cody felt a bit daring and tried his best to bark at the black lab. He must've said something wrong because the lab barked back with such ferocity, Cody fell over. Satisfied with Cody showing his belly, the black lab moved on, leaving Cody to feel the most like a wimpy pink poodle he ever had.

"Were you trying to protect mommy from the scary doggy?" She cooed, rubbing his tummy. "What a good boy! Cody's a good poodle! Yes, he is!"

"Then why am I pink?" Cody asked, silently relieved that, unlike Belinda, mom seemed to still know he was a boy.

As he had feared, they were indeed not going to his usual barber. Dad was the one who took him there. All the same, he was shocked by the colorful sign for Wagging Tails. There were dogs in the window and everything! There was still time for mom to reveal it was all a joke. Maybe Belinda was even in on it. As the door jingled and they entered, he knew it was not a joke.

“I have an appointment for my standard poodle, Cody.” Mom said, all business even as her son stood nervously beside her.

“Would” There was the slightest pause as she looked down at the pink poodle boy. “He like a bowl of water?”

“Sure! He had quite the walk over.” Mom said. She took Cody over to a chair and set the plastic doggy dish of water down on the floor. “Drink up, Cody!” Cody, overcome by a desire to prove he was not a dog, picked it up and tried to drink from it like a boy would.

“They always make such a mess, don’t they?” The woman sitting next to them said with a smile. “What’s the little darling’s name?”

“Oh, this is Cody. He’s a little nervous about the groomer.”

“It can’t be his first time.”

“Oh, no. But you know how poodles can be!”

Cody tried to sit in the chair next to his mom, but she immediately sent him to the floor with a "no! Down!" So Cody sat cross-legged on the floor, nervously eyeing both the dogs – other dogs? – and a little girl who wore almost as much pink as he did. He was almost relieved when a groomer came out and said his name.

"Here's this." He looked up at his mom in confusion as she handed the end of the harness to the smiling groomer. "I've got some errands to run, but I shouldn't be too long."

"Mom?"

"Mommy will be back to pick you up soon!" That was right. You waited for a kid to get his hair cut. For a dog, you just dropped them off like dry cleaning. "Be a good poodle!" Couldn't she have said boy, Cody wondered as the groomer took his harness and led him into the back.

At least I get to be on two legs, he thought just before the groomer lifted him up onto a grooming station, setting him down on his hands and knees before attaching his collar to a leash on the table. It kept Cody still, and on all fours. He could even only look around so much. The groomers moved in and out of view with concerning frequency.

"Geez, can you believe this lady dyes her boy poodle pink?"

"Well, when you're a poodle, you're a sissy even when you're a boy."

"I am not!" Cody protested. The groomers chuckled.

"See? Cody agrees. He just said he wants to be pink! Little pinky poodle."

"What? No, I didn't."

"That bark sounded like 'hurry up' to me." They shrugged and Cody had to stand there on his hands and knees as they bathed him all over. He could've sworn he felt the tug against his skin as they brushed his fluffy fur briefs and vest. The worst was when they focused on his head. All he could do was close his eyes and cough as they used noxious chemicals and what seemed like gallons upon gallons of water. He only noticed that they had removed the headband when they were putting it back on his head. Even with his floppy ears back, they were not done. He cried out a few times as they tugged on his hair. What were they doing?

"Shh, you're okay." The words did not mean much, but the scritches right above his tail felt heavenly. I'm a boy, not really a dog, Cody reminded himself, but the line seemed especially blurred right now.

Without any mirrors and the leash holding him still, Cody could only guess what was happening out of sight. As he felt his tail moving around, he wondered if he wanted to know. Being a dog seemed fun in theory, but all the not knowing was stressful! At that exact moment, however, he felt more like a drowned rat than a dog. Well, if they were going to soak him, he knew how a dog would respond. He tried to think how to shake like a dog and found himself doing it as if it was second nature.

“Ha!” He exclaimed triumphantly as they jumped back.

“Pinky’s got pep!” One of the groomers announced.

“Well, Cody is still a puppy.” Another one said, coming over and grabbing his wrist. “Got your paw, pup. Ooh, these claws need a good clipping.” Cody wondered what she saw as she held his decidedly human hand, clipping his fingernails before moving around in a clockwise fashion to each of his "paws". He wanted to ask her, but the loud whir of hair dryers drowned out conversation as he found himself being blasted with hot air from all sides. It was enough to make a dog pant and Cody even playfully let his tongue loll out.

“We’re nearly done.” One of the groomers said, giving Cody a scritch behind the ear. It felt good, but something about his head felt different. “Here, drink some water.” He set a bowl of water down on the table, lowering the leash enough that Cody could lie down on his tummy and drink. He could not believe he was saying this, but he almost missed the harness. This leash tugged at his neck!

It took him a moment to devise a system of sucking the water out of the bowl, figuring that it would be too hard to try to lift it while he was on his tummy. Oh, god. He thought suddenly. What if I need to pee? He stopped drinking the water, just in case.

“Alright, little poodle.” One of the groomers said. “You’re all done!” He smiled and pressed something against Cody’s lips until he opened them enough to eat it. It tasted like his breakfast. Different, but not bad. “A treat for our good boy Cody.”

“Wait.” A groomer at the next table over said. “That’s that poodle from earlier?”

“Yep.”

“Geez! Don’t you think you went a little overboard?” Cody looked at the groomer in shock. What did she mean? Overboard? What had they done to him?

“It’s exactly what his owner asked for, Mindy.” The groomer who had given Cody the treat said, rolling his eyes. “Come on, Cody. Who cares what meanie Mindy says? Let’s get you in the display pen and we’ll see what the public thinks.”

“Display pen?” Cody wiggled as the groomer picked him up and carried him toward the front of the building. He spied an area that was fence on three sides and a window looking out into the world on the fourth. “Let me go!” There was no way he was going in there!

“Alright, squirmy little poodle pup. Down you go!” He set Cody down inside, the dogs already within curiously looking over at the newcomer. He eyed them right back and they mostly returned to what they were doing.

Cody sat there on his butt, trying to decide what to do. Here he was, in a pen with dogs – real dogs – and he could feel the eyes of every passer-by on him. He noticed another poodle across the pen and laughed. She looked ridiculous, at least twice as pink as him!

"At least I don't look as bad as her!" A moment later, realization struck. That poodle, all pink and fluffy with big white bows on her floppy ears to match the big one atop her puffy pink wool hat, was him! His dark blond hair was gone! Well, his hair was still there, but it had been dyed as pink as the rest of his fur and curled, styled, something so that it matched the wooly fur of his vest, pompoms, every inch of his poodly body. He did not even look like he had a headband anymore! He could still glimpse his human ears under the floppy ears, but the poodle ears looked like they belonged on his head now, thanks to the pink wooly mess that had once been his hair consuming it. It was more than wooly, same as his vest, briefs, and pompoms. It almost looked like he was covered in cotton candy! Pink cotton candy decorated with those horrible white bows! Who would ever do this to a boy dog, let alone a human boy?

Fed up with being a dog, Cody reached behind him to find the zipper. Why had he not thought of this before? Sure, he would be in his underwear, but it was better than being covered in pink cotton candy fur and being treated like a poodle. He’d shave his head or something later.

He stood up to get a better chance at reaching the zipper. Where was it? He almost growled in frustration, but knew that would not help him prove he was definitely not a dog!

“Look, mommy! That poodle’s standing on her hind legs!” He froze as he saw a little girl standing outside the window, looking right at him. Muffled as her voice was by the glass, he could still make out every word.

“I think that’s a boy poodle, Gracie.”

“But she’s pink. And she has bows on her ears and tail!”

“Yes, but see how he’s doing tricks? He must be a show poodle, like we saw at the circus. He does look pretty, doesn’t he?” Cody had heard enough, sinking down onto his haunches to try and hide amongst the dogs. He knew there was no chance of that as every single person walking by seemed to see him in all his prissy pinkness. He had to get out of this and somehow, convince his parents he was a boy and not a poodle!

Someone came up behind him and Cody quickly spun around, ignoring the exclamations from the sidewalk about his wooly poodle butt being turned to them.

“Huh. I didn’t know poodles looked like that in real life.” A boy about Cody’s age said, staring in at him with a mix of revulsion and curiosity.

“And you thought it was tough walking and brushing Blitz. Just imagine having to take care of a dog like that!” His dad said, lifting a black and white dog out of the pen.

“I’m not a dog.” Cody said, but they did not seem to hear him. “I’m a human!”

A puppy came over to him, curious about this strange dog, and barked at him. He barked back. The puppy raised a paw and barked again, clearly wanting to play. Cody barked again, trying to match the puppy’s tone. Every time he barked though, what emerged from his throat was better described as a yip, high and wimpy to his ears. A few other dogs barked, as if to show Cody that his bark was pitiful. He frowned and growled. At least that sounded a little menacing.

“So? I don’t wanna bark anyway. I’m a boy, not a dog.” Cody stuck his tongue out at them, not panting, but to mock them. They did not seem to care. It didn’t matter. He had to think of an escape plan. And soon.

"Cody? Hey! Cody!" Cody froze as he heard the voice of Carly, a girl in his class. She could not see him like this. "Earth to Cody!" He sighed inwardly. There was no choice.

"Hey, uh, Carly." No one seemed to notice anything amiss about the girl chatting with 'one of the dogs'.

"Got your hair cut, huh? Looks nice."

"Uh, thanks." What did she see? The pink monstrosity that sat atop his head? Something more normal?

"The pink really suits you. We're here for my collie, Barney. I didn't know you went here too!" Cody looked at the dog through the fence. Barney gave him a bark that Cody somehow knew meant hello. He cleared his throat and responded, blushing and regretting it the second the yip sounded. "Aw, I think Barney likes you, Cody." She leaned down and kissed the collie's head. "Do you like Cody? Do you like the poodle?" She laughed. "Well, see you around."

Cody watched her leave, mortified. Mom had to come get him soon or he would die of embarrassment!

A tap on the glass caused him to look over his shoulder, his ears flopping as he stared directly into the camera on his mom's phone. Great. He had just inadvertently posed perfectly to showcase both the bow on his tail and the ones on his head. How could she look at him so adoringly? Did any parent want their son to look like this? Last winter, he had been in peewee hockey, now he was a pretty pink poodle.

She finally came inside, but went over to the counter and paid before finally walking over and smiling down at him. He didn’t care how pleased she was with the way he looked, he wasn’t! Every inch of him except for his face, hands, and feet, was covered in wooly pink fur. One of his classmates, not to mention about a hundred other people, had seen him all poodled out and thought it was completely normal! He reached behind him to try again to find the zipper.

“Oh, are you itchy again?” Mom asked. “We might have to take you to the v-e-t.”

“I am not going to the vet.”

“But that won’t be today.” Mom said. She lifted her son out of the display pen. “Say bye-bye to the other dogs!”

“Bye.”

“Come on, Cody. Be a good boy and say bye.” Cody sighed and summoned up a strong, powerful bark.

Yip! He glared at a few people who snickered, but it was hard to tell if they were even listening to him.

Cody was so eager to get out of there that the moment his mom set him down, he ran for the door. He slipped a bit on the tiled floor and he did not really have a plan. All he knew was, he had to escape. Maybe he would go home or to Mike’s house. All he knew was, he needed to go. Anywhere but here!

“Cody! Cody! Come back here!”

“I’ve got him!” Cody had already stopped, but a stranger grabbed him by the collar and dragged him over to his mom, bare feet desperately slapping the floor.

“Thank you so much! Puppies take off the moment your back is turned.”

“I think he’s excited to show off his new look at the dog park.” The man said, laughing and roughly patting Cody on the head.

“No dog park today, Cody.” Mom said as if it had been his idea, pulling the harness back onto him. “We’re gonna go home and show Daddy your lovely new do!” Enough was enough.

“My lovely new do? Look at me! Look at what you had them do!” Cody didn’t even care that he was shouting, a few dogs howling in sympathetic solidarity. “I’m a boy, mom! A boy! I play hockey! It was bad enough with the unitard or whatever, but they dyed my hair! And these freaking bows! Seriously! All my clothes were gone and you put me in this and now everyone’s treating me like a dog! I- I just want everything to go back to normal! I’m a boy, not a dog! I’m not a poodle! I’m… I’m… a boy.” He sighed, feeling better now that he had gotten that off his chest. “And… and you just left me here! I didn’t even know how long you’d be gone. You just left.”

“Yes, mommy missed her Cody too.” She cooed, grabbing his hand as he reached for the bow right in the middle of his poof of hair. “So much, in fact, I got you something special!” She pulled out a bright red rubber bone.

“What? A dog toy? I’m a boy! A human boy! I’m not a stinking” he stopped as he heard a noise he had never heard before. It was like an ice cream jingle and the chime of a new high score all in one. It was so great, he almost squirmed with delight. What was it though? What had made that – mom squeezed the chew toy again and Cody gasped. How was it making that noise?

“Oh! Someone likes it!” She smiled and gave it a light toss. “Get it, Cody! Go get it, boy!” Cody forgot his rage and ran for it, curious to see if he too could make it make that wonderful sound. He picked it up, hardly even hearing the comments about how much his tail was wagging as he gave it another squeeze. Nothing. He squeezed it again. Was it broken? His mom came over and took it from him.

“Hey! Give that” she pushed it into his mouth and as he bit down on it, it made that noise! He didn’t even care how he looked. If he had to bite it to make it make that noise, so be it.

“There we go.” She gave his ears an affectionate scritch, like it was a normal thing between a mother and son. “Oh, these bows really are darling.”


Cody almost jumped for joy as they reached their block and he saw Belinda’s empty lawn. They were almost home and she wasn’t waiting for him! Thank goodness! Rather than press his luck, however, he pulled at the harness to try and get out of sight as quickly as possible.

“Ugh!” He groaned as the door opened and Belinda came rushing out.

“There he is! Oh! Look at you!”

“Mom, let’s go.” The toy still in his mouth squeaked and Cody’s guard dropped just long enough for Belinda to get her hands on him.

“Did widdle Codykins have fun at the puppy salon! I bet he did! Yes, he did! Cody wuvs being the prissyest pinkest poodle puppy he can be! And I bet you just begged for your pretty new bows, yes you did! Whining and begging and whimpering! Ickle Cody poodle puff loves his pretty new bows!”

“I did not!”

“Cody, be polite.”

“Oh, it’s ok. He’s just a little embarrassed to be a boy doggy who wuvs being all fluffy and pink and pretty. Aren’t you a pretty widdle poodle? Aren’t you?” Cody feared that Belinda might get a grip on his leash and drag him inside, but Mom finally came to his aid as Belinda began rambling about him prancing around the schoolyard come Monday.

“Well, Belinda. We better get home for lunch. It’s always a treat seeing you.”

“And it’s such a treat to see your pretty poodle. Alma in my bridge club, she has a little black poodle who’s an absolute terror. Cody here, he’s a proper poodle. Pink and prissy and pampered as all get out.” Cody felt the urge to bite her, so he bit his chew toy and felt the wave of endorphins block out what she was saying. By the time he came to, they were almost home. What would dad say?

"Did you have fun?" Dad's tone almost hinted that he saw his son for what he really was: a boy covered in pink cotton candy fur with bows on his ears.

"Of course! Cody was the perfect little poodle! Yes, you is! Yes you is!" She cooed and scritched, so Cody allowed it. "Sorry, we had a run-in with Belinda down the street, so she's rubbed off on me."

"That woman's a grade A nutcase." Dad muttered. "Cody, can you take out the trash real quick?" The banality of the request startled Cody.

“Uh, sure.” As soon as his harness was off (though his collar stayed on), he took the bag of kitchen trash, still a little taken aback. He walked down to the can, pondering what it meant. Had dad known this whole time? Why had he let mom take him to the groomer then and do… this? He frowned as he threw it into the bin, taking care to put the smaller recyclables bag into its proper spot. Even if dad did know he was a boy again, how fair was it that he had only become a boy again just in time to do chores? Still, if dad knew he was a boy again… he could help him get this ridiculous thing off!

He reached around to his back and dug around in his fur – no, not my fur. The fur of the unitard he wore. That was all. He dug around in it, trying to find the zipper. He spun around and around in a circle in his efforts to reach around and find the zipper until he realized he almost certainly looked like he was chasing his tail.

“I don’t even have a tail!” He said, glaring back at the stupid thing with its white bow and the big pink pompom of fur. He snarled. The sooner he got Dad to help him get this off, the better.

“Dad! Dad!” Cody yelled, running back into the house.

“Someone’s playful!” Dad said with a laugh. “Cody the playful poodle!” He held up the red rubber bone and though Cody was still intrigued by it, he had more important things on his mind.

“Dad, listen.”

“Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?” Dad pulled Cody over to him, rubbing his tummy. Cody fell onto his back, legs and arms folded there even as he tried to get his dad’s attention.

“Dad, listen! Dad!”

“Poodle, poodle, poodle!” His dad said in a silly voice. Cody knew what he needed to do. He yipped.

“Well, you don’t get that from me.” Dad said with a smirk.

“Haha, real funny. Look, we need to talk. You know I’m not” his voice trailed off as he heard the sound. Looking into the dining room, Cody saw his mom filling the food and water dishes. He could not decide which was worse: that they were being filled when he had been so close to convincing his parents he was a human boy or that she held a green bag with a happy golden retriever puppy on it, the contents of which were being poured into the food dish. They really were feeding him dog food! For every meal? “Can’t I have something else for lunch?”

“This is good for you.” Mom replied.

“Well, how about I do this?” He sat down at what had, up until that morning, always been his seat at the dining room table.

“Oh, isn’t that cute?”

“Cody, down.”

“Let him sit there for a minute.” Mom snapped a few photos. “Isn’t that cute?” She showed her husband the photos. “Oh, and here’s some from the groomer.” Cody could see them too, sitting as he was right next to his dad. He made a face as he saw the photo of him looking over his shoulder from when mom had surprised him. It was even worse than those photos of him at Easter a few years ago in the yellow overalls!

“Oh, that’s just great.”

“I know, right? I started an Instagram for him.”

“You what?”

“You’ll be a famous poodle, Cody!” Dad said with a laugh. “Hashtag boys wear bows too!”

“Dad!”

“We’ll take some more pics this afternoon maybe. Let’s eat lunch though.” Dad gave Cody a loving pat on his head before grabbing his collar and pulling him onto the floor. “Down you come, boy. Go eat your puppy chow.” Cody got up and shuffled over. HIs parents were having chicken salad sandwiches, which sounded a lot better than kibble and a bowl of water.

Cody felt a little better when he realized he could chew with his mouth open and slurp his water to his heart’s content. Dogs, even pink poodles, didn’t get scolded about table manners. Even then, the fun ran out before his kibble did. He sat there, trying to pretend like his kibble wasn’t dog food and listening to his parents talk.

“I get he’s cute, but don’t you think it’s a little silly for our dog” why did he say it like that? “To have his own Instagram?”

“C’mon, it’s harmless fun. I’ve wanted a pink poodle since I was a kid and” she smiled. “That photo from the groomers already has a ton of likes.”

“Great.” Cody muttered into his kibble. He sucked up the last of his water and immediately knew that was a mistake. He needed to pee!

He jumped to his feet and ran toward the bathroom. Sensing his alarm and urgency, his mom gave chase.

“Cody! No!” She yelled as he charged into the bathroom.

“Mom! I need to pee! Get out!”

“I don’t care how much you whine and beg. You are not drinking out of the toilet!” She closed the lid and stared at him. Cody squirmed. He needed to pee! What was he going to do? Pee right there on the bathroom rug? It would show her, but the last thing he needed was for mom to rub his nose in it. Would she do that? Why did he feel like she had before?

He felt his bladder ache and suddenly, without even knowing why, he charged out of the bathroom and toward the door in the kitchen that led out to the backyard. He tried to stop himself, but some primal part of him told him this was how he would deal with his need, the same part of him that told him he would get there faster on all fours.

A bird took off in fright toward the lazy afternoon clouds as Cody pounded out into the backyard, heading directly toward the tall oak tree that dominated the far left corner. He loved that tree. He could see it from his bedroom window. It was a great tree. It was his tree. He was going to prove it. Cody skidded to a halt right at the base of the tree and lifted his leg. He moaned as he let go, peeing right onto the massive exposed root. Oh, my god. He thought. I’m peeing outside! Like… like a dog! Why does it feel so right?