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Showing posts from September, 2023

My Size Barbie

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“Alright. Have fun! Be good!” Mom said as Lisa opened the front door. “Zack, say bye to your sister.” “Bye.” Zack muttered. She was just going to a sleepover, not leaving for a freaking month. At least with her out of his hair for the night, he might get to do something fun without her tattling on him all the time. “Oh, shoot!” He said as soon as the door closed. “What?” Mom asked. “Miss her already?” “No.” Zack said, walking past his mom and up the stairs. Lisa had promised to give it back, but she must have forgotten. What was he going to do with it? The it in question was his Gameboy, which Lisa had stolen from him to get him to play outside with her earlier that day. She had said she would give it back before she left for Janie’s sleepover, but she had hidden it in her room for safekeeping. “Great.” Zack muttered as he looked at her closed door. “Guess I gotta go in there.” He took a deep breath, his cheeks puffing out as he held his breath as he charged headlong into his sis...

Water Balloons 2: The Girls' Revenge

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At first, it seemed to Trevor as if Suzie would never let him live down the afternoon he had spent in the rainbow swimsuit, playing whatever games the girls ordered him. After a few weeks, however, she brought it up less and less and Trevor felt like he was in the clear. Things returned to normal, although Suzie did notice that her older brother tried his best to avoid her and her friends, which suited them just fine. One August day, however, they had no choice but to all play together in the backyard of Suzie’s friend Marcie’s house. Under the pretense of not wanting to spend time with a bunch of eight and nine year old girls, Trevor gave them a wide berth, but as he watched them sitting on the grass, chatting and making daisy chains, he could not resist. Trevor’s mom always complained about having to empty out his pockets before she did his laundry, but to Trevor, the pockets of his shorts were a veritable treasure trove. In one of the bigger pockets, he had most of a package of w...

Water Balloons

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“Mom! He’s throwing water balloons at us again!” Suzie yelled. Her mom sighed and looked up from her book. Sure enough, Trevor was trying to look innocent, but she knew better than to not take her daughter’s word for it. Her son was, in a word, a terror. “Trevor, over here right now.” “But mom!” “No, I can see the water balloon in the pool. Why do you insist on tormenting your sister and her friends?” “They’re in the pool anyway.” Trevor protested. “You have until the count of three to get over here or I’ll pull down your swimsuit in front of the girls and give you a bare bottom spanking.” She would never do that, but the threat was all she needed. Besides, she had something much more memorable in mind. “Now, mister.” Trevor shuffled over and stood by his mom’s lounge chair. “Apologize to the girls.” “Sorry.” He grunted. “C’mon” mom said, standing up and setting her book aside. “We’re going inside for a bit.” “What? Why?” “So the girls can have some peace and quiet from a lit...

A Brother's Duty

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"But you just got Carcosa for your birthday last week! Why don't you want to play it?" His brother's button nose wrinkled and he looked away. "I just don't want to." He muttered. "C'mon. I tried to play it and it was tough, but I've seen you do awesome at it." He knew that the real reason his brother did not want to play was because of how difficult it was. "I need my big brother to show me how it's done." He smiled as his brother perked up a bit at that. Being so small all his life, he loved any reminder that he was big. He had just turned fifteen after all, even if he looked closer to a third grader in so many ways. Not like his little brother, who towered over him and was nearly as tall as their dad despite only being eleven. "Okay." He took the controller and turned the game on, his little brother holding his breath as the haunting music of the yellow loading screen came up. If all went well, his brother wou...

Cody: In the Doghouse

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Cody waited for the effects of the dog shots to kick in as Mom herded him to the fluffy pink dog bed in the corner of the living room. He rolled his eyes as he saw a three panel mirror set up apparently so he could see himself from various angles. They won't buy me a new video game, but apparently they'll blow all the money they can on me now that I'm a poodle. He wasn't a poodle though. He knew he wasn't! "Let's get your school bows off." Can you take my dumb pink poofs off too? Cody thought. "You were such a good boy at the vet today." She praised, pulling off his green and gold bows. "These really do clash." She murmured. "You're the one who dyed me pink." "Hush. It doesn't hurt to be pink." She patted the poof atop his head. "Who's my pinky poodle pup? Cody is! Cody is!" He groaned, but he could hear his tail thwacking against the dog bed. "See? Deny it all you want, but your wag...

Tighty Whities Virus: Seventh Grade

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Steve groaned as he saw the wet paint sign. Maybe he could still go through? "Sorry, hallway's closed." The custodian said. Steve nodded grimly. That meant he would have to go through the 7th grader hallway, the last place any self-respecting upperclassman, let alone a senior, wanted to go. Even before he turned the corner, he could hear the cacophony of their voices. He groaned, already able to smell the worst thing about the 7th grader hallway: the copious amounts of body spray they used. "Gotta do it." He muttered. Maybe he could just hold his breath? As he neared the hallway, he could have sworn he could actually see all the Axe floating in the air like a fog. He took a deep breath, but he was already too close. He coughed and strode forward, weaving his way through the crowd. Steve was over six foot, so he towered over all the 7th graders. Try as he might to hold his breath, he had to breathe and his head swam with the smells of a hundred different body sp...

Time Out

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"Do you two have to be at each other's throats all the time?" She rolled her eyes as her kids once again launched into the familiar cacophony of 'he started it, she started it'. "I don't care who started it." "But mom! Jake said" "I don't want to hear it." She looked from her son to her daughter and back again. "Alright, let's all take a deep breath. Now, Jen, what did Jake say?" "He said that" the whole story came out. Jake had plans to pelt Jen and her friends with eggs when they came out of their ballet lesson tomorrow afternoon. Jake watched as her brow furrowed the more his mom heard. "Well." She did not even have to ask if Jen was telling the truth. It was written all over her son's guilt-ridden face. "Jen, sweetie, can you go grab your ballet outfit?" Confused, Jen complied, bringing her duffel over. "Here's what we're going to do, Jake. You are going to put ...

Tighty Whities Virus: Kids Table

“You promise, mom?” “Yes, Nate. For the millionth time, yes! I promise that I spoke with your aunt and you’ll be sitting at the grown-up table this year.” He grinned. “I don’t know why it’s such a big deal.” “I’m almost fourteen, mom.” “Oh, I’m aware. I was there when you were born, you know.” “Real funny.” He rolled his eyes. “You’ll be bored, I bet. Your uncle Jimmy always tells a thousand golf stories. And expects us to laugh at every one.” “He tells those stories all the time.” “Yeah, but when you’re captive at the table, it’s worse.” Mom said, her eyes twinkling. “Alright, we’re here. Be sure to hug Muriel before you disappear with your cousins.” “As long as she doesn’t kiss me.” He said, knowing that it would happen no matter what. Sure enough, Muriel not only kissed him, but she pinched his cheeks and praised him for getting so big as if he was half his age. He squirmed, but grinned and beared it. He finally made his way through the sea of relatives and escaped to his cou...

A Trick Before Treats: Maxy Dolly

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"Come on, dude! Hurry up!" Alex glared at his best friend. "You're the one who insisted we play Malix." He said. "Well, I didn't know your sister had taken it from you." Alex sighed. He had told Max that Laurie had taken it, but he had kept secret how she had told him that her 'little sister' should not play such violent games, to say nothing of how she had waited until he was flouncing around the house dusting as Madame Frou-Frou when she had stolen it. "Besides," Max added. "I don't gotta be home until dinner. If we start now, we can play all day long." "It's probably in her closet." He muttered, throwing open the double doors. He blushed as he saw dresses, both familiar and not, hanging there in plain sight. Were they cursed? Laurie seemed to have a million different ways to turn him into something girly, it seemed, and it had taken weeks to convince Max to come over again after the tea party of las...

A Trick Before Treats: Tea Party

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If there was one thing that Laurie prided herself on, it was her patience. Sure, she had had a little fun that morning making Alex, as Miss Frou-Frou, clean the house in preparation for his best friend Max coming over to play video games, but her actual plan to make the day a little more exciting? That required the utmost restraint to avoid revealing herself too soon. Thankfully, she had patience in spades. She smiled and knew it would all be worth it. “Can we take a break before the next round?” Max asked. “I gotta piss.” Alex agreed and Laurie smiled. At long last, it was nearly time. Sure, she had influenced things somewhat by making sure that the fridge was stocked full of everything the boys liked to drink, but it still felt good to know that she had just allowed things to take their course. As she heard the bathroom door close, she grabbed just what she needed. Thankfully, Alex had not followed Max, so she would have him alone. “Right where I want him.” She mused to her reflec...

A Trick Before Treats: Housework

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As if it was not bad enough he still had flashbacks to trick or treating as Little Bo Peep, Alex now had just as many to the three hour ballet recital Laurie had made him put on before finally releasing him from the tutu. For the next few months, Alex did whatever he could to avoid crossing paths with his older sister any more than he had to. Try as he might though, she was still his older sister, which meant that when their parents were not home, she was in charge. Alex sat in his room, playing Martian Mayhem Melee as he often did on Saturdays. He knew his parents had told him to do something, but whatever it had been was at the back of his mind as he conquered another objective point. “Two more for the win.” He muttered to himself. His door creaked open and he shot a glance over to see Laurie in the doorway. “What?” “Mom wanted me to remind you to clean your room.” “I will.” “It’s a pigsty in here!” “It’s not that bad.” Alex said dismissively. “I’ll do it in a little while.” L...

A Trick Before Treats: Tutu

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After what he had named the Halloween incident, Alex was careful to make sure he never kept his back to Laurie for too long, just in case she try to pop the bonnet on his head again. She kept insisting that she had gotten rid of it, even offering to let him search her room to prove it. He knew better than to fall for that obvious trick, but he still wondered if there was a chance that she was telling the truth. One day, while Laurie was at the mall with her friends, Alex snuck into her room, determined to find out the truth for himself. He dug to the back of her closet, finding nothing more than old shoes amongst the dresses she had not worn in years. Withdrawing from the closet, he looked around the room. There was no sign of it. Where else could she hide an enormous bonnet? She must have, true to her word, gotten rid of it. As he walked past her vanity, his fingers happened to brush a piece of ribbon sitting there, knocking it to the floor. He bent over to pick it up, but stopped ...